Losing Myself

I've got to get out of this hole...

2012-02-01T11:53:00.001-06:00

Today is a sad, blue day. Not the weather, it is actually beautiful outside. The sadness is inside. I am depressed. It isn't bad enough that I need to go back on antidepressants, I don't think. I am not having suicidal thoughts or anything like that. I am just sad. I feel like a failure, and have no reason, except that I cannot find a job. I apply and send my resume and never hear from the people I've applied to. I know, there are jobs out there. I could go to work for minimum wage at a fast food place, or a grocery store, but, after having been an Office Manager/Administrative Assistant for 10 years, I really don't want to go back to a minimum wage job. Can you blame me? I have skills but lack education. The jobs I would want require a degree, the jobs that don't require a degree find me to be 'over qualified' and while it is't legal to discriminate based on age, companies prefer to hire a younger person. I can't blame them. One of the main reasons I lost my job was because they could hire someone half my age for half the money. When I was looking to hire someone, I didn't want to hire someone that was too young or too old. With unemployment being as high as it is, I am assuming that for each job I apply to there are many more people also applying; younger people who are equally qualified. So, I am passed over for someone younger, who will possibly stay with the company longer than 2 - 5 years. Again, I don't blame them. But it is SOOOO discouraging and makes me feel like a failure.
Do I need to start taking antidepressants again? That is a question I ask myself occasionally. Then I ask, why did I want to get off them in the first place? #1 reason? Because I didn't FEEL. What I mean is I had no emotions, or so it seemed. I didn't cry over dumb, sappy commercials, or sad songs, or sad movies. I watched "Steel Magnolias", a movie that I used to couldn't watch without a box of Kleenex (or two), without shedding one tear. No tears, no anger, no......nothing. I hated that. Now I have my emotions back, and I emote all over the place. But I'm okay with that.
What I need is a PURPOSE. Something to get out of bed for every morning. Even blogging and facebook and the whole Internet thing has lost it's appeal. Writing, but my brain only permits so much of that. So, here I sit in my jammies at noon.
Someone very wise once told me that if you find yourself in a hole, best stop digging. So I need to get up, get dressed, get out and DO something. Unfortunately, I live in a small town of 3500. It is a minimum of 35 miles to any town that is bigger than this one. It is 5 hours to a city where there is any sort of opportunity. So, if I do get up and get dressed and go....what is there to DO?? NOTHING!!! Work at fast food for minimum if I could even GET a job there!!
SIGH
I am depressed and need to get out of this hole.

All I can think of to say is, please pray for me.

What I've Been Up To

2012-01-27T13:47:00.000-06:00

I know that my posting the past year or so has been sporadic. Since August 2010, when I lost my job of 10 years, and especially since April of 2011 when I lost the job I took after losing my job in 2010, I have been through several periods of depression. HOWEVER, I was not sitting idly by, well I was, but not all the time.
I wrote a book. It is a murder mystery about a triple murder in a small town in Texas.

The book has been published by PublishAmerica. If you would like to purchase a copy you can go to:
http://www.publishamerica.net/product46540.html The book in hard cover sells for $19.95 plus $4.99 shipping

I am very pleased to now be a published author. I am also working on my next book.

I have also started the NoS diet. Which is more a style of eating rather than a diet, per se. I will try to write more on this later.

Its a busy time of year

2011-12-15T22:32:00.000-06:00

I have been busy the past few days and haven't taken the time to blog. I stepped on the scae this morning and it said 189.6, I think.

I have been working on getting my house clean and my laundry all done. I did get it done, too. The clean laundry had really piled up, but I did get everything put away. I swear we have way too many clothes!
Everyone I talk to seems to be overwhelmed by the holidays. I think that is a shame, personally, because it makes Christmas less than it should be if we concentrate on trying to make everything 'perfect' and less on what really matters; God and family. Plus all that rushing causes stress which causes us to over eat or eat the wrong things. So, slow down and take time to enjoy the holidays. Eat well and you will be much happier.

God bless and Merry Christmas to all.

2011-12-10T18:25:00.001-06:00

I stepped on my Mom's scale this morning and it said 190. But that is still a downward trend, so I am happy.

Staying on any weightloss plan is hard to do when traveling and/or during the holidays. We are in Amarillo, Tx for my Dad's 85th birthday this weekend. On the trip down we stopped at a Braum's for supper. Yes, I could have had a grilled chicken salad, but I chose to have a bacon cheeseburger and fries. Not the best choice, but an occasional indulgence is ok. No one should ever go on a diet that so limits what you eat to where you can't occasionally have something you want; as long as it is the exception instead of the rule. Today the whole family went to the Texas Roadhouse restaurant. I did much better having grilled chicken, a baked sweet potatoe with plain butter and a side salad. It was a great meal. The company was what made the meal so wonderful.

It was the first time that my three sisters and I have all been together in a while and the be able to be with Daddy and Mother for his birthday was very special.

I think the trick to holiday and special occasion eating is to not completely lose your head, and if you, dont beat yourself up. Just 'get back on the wagon' and go forward.

God bless you all and Merry Christmas!

2011-12-08T09:05:00.001-06:00

I stepped on the scales this morning and was pleased to read 186. I know that is a big loss for overnight, but it is what it is. I makes me happy to start off with a big loss. That happens on a low carb diet. This is my diet of choice because I know it works for me.

The key to any weight loss program is to find one that, a. works for you, and b. you can stay on for the long term. My personal weakness is potatoes. I have to stay away from them because I have no control, especially when it comes to mashed potatoes. One of the reasons I gained was because I fell back into eating high carb foods like bread and potatoes. There were a lot of other reasons.

1. depression over loss of my job
2. fell and hurt knee so was unable to walk daily, ended up having knee surgery, that
3. started eating high carb foods.
4. stopped blogging about weight loss
5. stopped watching what and how much I ate

All these things added up to regaining 30 lbs. This is not acceptable; so I begin the arduous task of re-losing the weight. I know what to do, I just have to start doing it! Now there lies the rub. Just doing it.
However, convincing myself to get up off this recliner and getting active is the hardest part.

2011-12-07T07:55:00.000-06:00

This blog has become so hit and miss of late. I blame it all on facebook. I spend WAY too many hours on the computer on facebook. And I don't play those silly 'ville' games, either. I just spend hours upon hours seeing what other people are up to on facebook. The thing is, most of my fb friends don't post what is happening in their lives, we re-post quotes, captioned pictures of cats and dogs, you-tube videos, and that sort of thing. I don't know how I have become so addicted to it, but it has interrupted my whole life. I haven't gotten to the point that I have a smartphone so I can take facebook with me where ever I go, but I a leaning towards that. It is pathetic, really. And totally UNHEALTHY!!

Hubby has agreed to go back on low-carb diet after first of the year. I am glad, because it is much easier when you have a diet buddy, especially when that buddy is the one you live with. It is possible to lose alone, but a lot harder.

I am so ashamed that I have regained 30+ pounds of the 60 lbs I lost! I know what I need to do, I know how to, I just can't seem to get my fat butt off the recliner and DO it.

Today I have my semi-annual check up. I wonder when it went from annual to semi-annual. I can't really remember, I know I used to go just once a year. Anyway, there are several things I need to discuss with the dr. I went completely off any and all medications several months ago, and now we will see what I need to go back on. I am feeling pretty good these days, except the knees and feet are giving me some pain. Blessed arthritis and cold weather. That alone should be incentive to lose the extra pounds I've gained. I know that my knees feel better when I am not carrying around all this extra poundage.

Well, numbers today aren't so good. I weigh 191.2 and my BMI is 29.1. That is on the high side of Overweight. A BMI of 30+ is considered OBESE! I don't want to go there again, really.

I don't think I am going to wait until 2012 to start. I think I need to start TODAY! (oh, I've said that before)

Day 13, 14, 15 of a month of Thanksgiving

2011-11-15T11:03:00.000-06:00

Day 13, I am thankful for the hunters from Oklahoma who visit our church every year when they come to Kansas to hunt pheasant. Thank you Bro. Henry Chan for the message you brought this morning and Thank you Sarah for the beautiful music. It was a blessed service for sure!

Day 14, I am thankful for my three sisters. I have learned so much from each of you. Growing up, I watched you closely and learned the things I should and shouldn't do. It wasn't always easy being your baby sister. Each of you left some pretty big steps to follow in. Now that we are grown, you still amaze and inspire me. I am so thankful that we are friends and I wish we could see each other more than we do. I know that no matter where you are or what you are doing, if I need you, you would drop everything to be there for me. I love you, Billie, Patsy and Jo Ann. You are the best big sisters ever!!

Day 15, I am in a sad place today. I have a cousin who is losing her battle against cancer. I am thankful that when life is sad, we have a loving God who will hold us close and comfort us and, like the loving Abba/Daddy He is, will whisper in our ear "It will be okay, my child, it will all be okay."

Day 12 of a month of Thanksgiving

2011-11-12T20:58:00.000-06:00

Technology. I am thankful to live in this wonderful age of technology. Through technology, I can communicate with my grandchildren across the state and my family in another state. Through technology, I had surgery on my knee and went home the same day. Through technology, I can be watching a television show, pause it and resume watching later. Yes, technology is a wonderful thing, it educates, entertains and keeps us healthy.
Yep, I am thankful for technology, without it I wouldn't be writing this blog!

God bless!

Day 11 of a month of Thanksgiving

2011-11-11T20:06:00.000-06:00

My Grand Daddy, My Daddy and my Husband, the three greatest men I know. Each served their country with pride. On this, Veterans Day, 2011, I thank the and all the men and women who have sacrificed to protect this great country.

I thankful for those who have served in the various branches of the military, and for those who are currently serving.

Day 9 of a month of Thanksgiving

2011-11-09T21:14:00.000-06:00

I am thankful for my four beautiful grandchildren.

This is the last picture I will probably ever have of the four of them together.

Eliza Jean, age 17 (on Thanksgiving). Shane Jacob age 16, Maliki Evander age 10 (the one I don't get to see any more) and Jolee Elizabeth, our darling who is now 9.

No, they aren't perfect. But I adore them, each and every one.

Who ever knew how special being a Grammy would be.

Day 8 of a month of Thanksgiving

2011-11-08T11:33:00.000-06:00

I struggled with the idea of never being able to have a child. It seemed that everywhere I turned young girls who had no business having babies were turning up pregnant. It was so 'unfair'! But God had a better plan for us. A young girl, much too young, decided that the best thing for her baby would be to place it up for adoption. I am ever, EVER, so thankful she did. For this girl of 13, gave to my husband and I the greatest gift. She gave us parenthood. I am thankful for my beautiful daughter, who is now 34 years old.

I won't say that raising Ginger has always been easy. It has been a challenge almost from the day we brought her home from the Catholic Family Center. There were times I threatened to take her back to the nuns, but always jokingly. If nothing else, she has kept me on my knees.

Now, as I see a beautiful young woman struggling with being a single mom with teenagers, going to school so she can make a better life for her family, and the many other trials of life, I am a proud, because she always has a smile, even through the tears, and is always willing to help others in need.

Yes, God blessed us with a wonderful daughter and I am so thankful He did!

Day 6 & 7 of a Month of Thanksgiving

2011-11-07T20:50:00.001-06:00

For some reason, instead of posting Day 6, I reposted Day 5. I don not know what happened, but something did. So here is Day 6 and Day 7.

Day 6, I am thankful for my church. Immanuel Southern Baptist Church of Scott City, Ks is a small congregation of some wonderful believers that I have grown to love over the past 10 years we have been in Kansas. I am thankful for the leadership of our Pastor, and my friend, Robert Nuckolls. I am thankful for God calling me to be their Music Leader. I pray that I honor Him with my music.

Day 7, I am thankful for my furbabies, Maxine, a 4 year old Siberian Cat and Chico a 1 year old Chihuahua. They bring so much joy and love into my life. I cannot imagine my days with out them. They are my 'other' children.

Day 5 of a month of Thanksgiving

2011-11-05T21:51:00.000-05:00

I am very thankful for my health. I just turned 59 a couple of months ago. Some days that seems really old, other days not so much, but one thing for certain; I am healthy. Yes, I move a little slower and my knees and feet sometimes give me a few aches and pains, but when I think of people who can't walk, I am happy to put up with a few minor aches and pains. So many are fighting life threatening diseases such as heart conditions or cancer, and i am not facing that right now.

Yes, God has blessed me with health. For that I am very thankful!

God bless!

Day 4 of a month of Thanksgiving

2011-11-04T09:02:00.000-05:00

Today I want to talk about a person I am so thankful for; my wonderful husband.

The first time I met him, he was engaged to a friend of mine. Being a boy-crazy 17 year old, I paid little attention to the boy, except to note that he was a good looking sailor. Luckily for me, not for her, that relationship didn't work out. The funny part was that she ended up with the guy I was 'soooooo in love with' at the time. Personally, I think I got the better end of the deal. It was about two years later that he and I were 'officially' introduced. I wasn't particularly active in church at that time, but the leader of the Young Adult Sunday School class insisted that I come to her house for Sunday School visitation one Monday night. Since she was also my employer, I figured it would be best if I went. We visited several young men and invited them back to her house to play cards and hang out. There was this one guy I thought was so cute! I really liked him. The next day at work she kept talking about one of the guys. Telling me what a great person he was, how he had a really good job, and so on. It wasn't the guy I had my eye one, but I figured he might just deserve a second look. There were about ten of us who started hanging out at her house. It was somewhere to go and she loved having us around. She ~~was~~ is a wonderful person and had a heart for us. We were single and in the 18-24 age range. There wasn't much for us to do, and dragging main just didn't much appeal to us any more. Anyway, we all hung out at Marva's and played cards and had a good time. Sometimes we'd all load into someone's car and go to the Ly'n Bragg Truckstop Cafe for coffee and to listen to the juke box.

The first thing I fell in love with was his car. It was a beautiful 1968 Impala. It was British Racing Green, which is a dark green. I did love that car. The sad part was, when we got married he couldn't afford the car payment, so he 'sold' the car to his brother who was supposed to make the payments but didn't. and the car got repossessed. It was sad. Anyway, after about a month and a half of hanging out and drinking coffee, we decided to get married. He proposed on Halloween 1971.

That group of kids who hung out at Marva's all paired up and got married. Out of the 5 or 6 couples, only two couples are still married. And that really cute guy? He was best man at our wedding. He married the sister of our church pianist who just happened to be in town visiting her sister for the summer. They are the other couple who are still married. We saw them two years ago at the guy's class reunion. He's still cute but I am glad I took a second look at my hubby.

Yes, I am thankful for the man who has stood by me and put up with me for these past 40 years. I know that I am not the easiest person to live with and he deserves sainthood. Thank you, honey. I love you more than words can say.

God bless

Day 3 of a month of Thanksgiving

2011-11-03T11:19:00.001-05:00

I am thankful for my husbands job. I know that I often whine and complain about being laid off from work and not being able to find a job, but, Hubby has worked for the same company (actually it's been 5 or 6 companies, but same job) for 33 years. He makes a good living and provides for all our needs and most of our wants. Yes, it was a shock when I lost my job of 10 years, but God is in control, and there were a lot of things I was unhappy about on my job. It was time.

Unlike many others, who are also searching for job in a market where there are few job to be found, I can be picky about what I am looking for. And if I don't find a job, that is ok, too. For several years I would tell people that I didn't HAVE to work; and that was true then and is still true now. I need to remember that when they hire someone else for a job I've applied for, that someone else probably needed the job more than I did anyway. God has other thing to keep me busy. I write, there is the church music, and always there is housework to do.

I just need to remember to be thankful for all He does to take care of us.

God bless.

Day 1 or is it Day 2-----So thankful for so much

2011-11-02T12:01:00.000-05:00

In November we celebrate Thanksgiving. Someone, quite unknown to me, came up with the idea of celebrating our thankfulness all month long with '30 Days of Thankfulness' on our blogs and facebook posts. It is an admirable idea and one which I shall attempt to participate in. That being said, you will also notice that I a starting my '30 Days of Thankfulness' on day 2. It's how I do things. :) So I will post two days worth today and try to keep on track.

I am thankful to be a part of a wonderful family. I have three older sisters, all of whom are wonderful, smart, funny, and above all dedicated Christian women. I am blessed to be their 'baby' sister. I have learned much from growing up with them. I also am blessed with the most wonderful parents ever. They are in their 80's and still going strong. Maybe not a strong as in the past, but strong nonetheless. They raised us right. I am not sure how they did it. But they did. I am so blessed to be part of the Cartwright family.

As I sit her typing and look out my front window I see snow falling. Well, it is more horizontal snow than vertical. That is what we get here in Western Kansas, where the wind is a constant. It is cold. Today I am ever so thankful for a warm house that shelters me from the cold. I am thankful for warm clothes to wear and for socks to keep my feet warm. (I really, really do NOT like cold feet!)

There are so much that I am thankful for. I am not sure that 30 days is enough, but it is a start to remembering to always be thankful. Even in the tough times.

God bless.

Venting --Steve Jobs and adoption

2011-10-24T09:49:00.001-05:00

I need to vent, and this seems to be as good a place as any. After the death of Steve Jobs, the media has been full of his life. The things he has accomplished are inspiring, or certain, but there is something else being said that I take GREAT exception to.

This picture is floating around facebook lately:

Look at what it says. It lists the 'bad' things that happened to poor Steve. Born out of wedlock; okay, that can be construed as a bad thing. Dropped out of college; that might or might not be a bad thing, but I can see how it would be construed that way.
PUT UP FOR ADOPTION AT BIRTH???? Hey, people, that was NOT a bad thing! A young, unmarried woman placing her child up for adoption is one of the most wonderful loving and caring things she could have ever done. NOTHING is being said about the people who adopted him, gave him a chance to be a part of a family. Just "Oh, poor Steve, he was adopted at birth." That was probably the BEST thing that happened to him, not some horrific tragedy!

As an adoptive parent, I am dismayed at the message this sort of media sends to young girls who find themselves pregnant and unprepared for motherhood. Adoption is the loving option. Not only are you giving your baby a chance for a better life, you are giving a wonderful gift to a couple who, otherwise, would never be able to experience the joys and pains of parenthood.

34 years ago, a young woman gave my husband and I that gift. It wasn't a 'bad' thing for my daughter. She will tell you that it was the best thing or her.

In fairness, I know that what the picture is saying that you can make a difference, even if bad things have happened, and you have 'screwed up'. My objection is that the media has in effect 'demonized' adoption. I just want to say that ADOPTION IS A GOOD THING!

What to do when you over do...

2011-10-20T15:53:00.002-05:00

Not sure where I found this, but it looks like a good strategy for when you fall off the weightloss wagon.

I found this interesting. I am willing to try this as I have occasional (or constant) pig outs!

Hey,

You'll love this one, let me tell ya.

It's something every one of us can use.

It's tried and true... works every time to help offset any
"pig-outs" you may find yourself engaging in.

You know...

1. You're super-tired from work and that darn pizza flyer
was on the door...

2. You want to celebrate and you find yourself stuffing your face
with "happy food"...

3. You're bummed out and ice cream turns into your BFF...

Listen, I've been there... lots of times.

If you pig-out on food, you must do three things in order to make
sure that food doesn't head straight for where you store the most
bodyfat...

1. Sweat a bit

Do some light cardio, take a brisk walk, but MOVE. You have to move
within an hour or so otherwise all that salt will be retained in
your tissues and make you LOOK fatter than you actually are. I hate
that look on me!

2. Protein and Produce

For the rest of the day, consume lean protein foods and produce
(primarily green veggies.) This not only lowers overall calories,
it lowers your insulin response.

Insulin is secreted in large amounts when you over-eat or eat too
many carbs. That's what you usually do during a pig-out. Most people
don't pig-out on steak.

Not only that, but protein foods are "thermogenic"... meaning they
help increase your body's core temperature and help you burn off
more calories than any other nutrient.

Cool, right?

3. Repeat the Next Day

... The protein and produce, that is.

Most of your foods the next day should be lean protein and
produce, only this time you can include some low-sugar
fruits along with the veggies. Salads are great too.

Stick to this system and you can cheat on your diet plan without
wrecking your waistline.

Taking a break

2011-09-20T07:39:00.000-05:00

I feel lead to put the Losing Myself blog on hiatus for a bit and concentrate on Living on the Mountain blog, which will hopefully, someday turn into a book. If you really want to know what is going on in my life, you can friend me on facebook. Ida Cartwright Richardson

Diets, Diets everywhere...

2011-09-15T12:48:00.000-05:00

I haven't posted lately, actually I haven't done much of anything lately. Just sitting in my recliner thinking about how I 'ought' to get up and do this or that. That and spending an incredible amount of time on facebook and other nonsensical websites. Basically, I've been depressed over nothing. I think it is a side effect of my surgery (good excuse, huh) and from not working. Understandable, yes; desirable, no.

Anyway, whilst perusing the 'net, I came across a couple of interesting items I decided I'd share with you.

Cracked.com shares 5 Things You Do Every Day That Are Actually Addictions

Here is something I gleaned from their list:

Salty foods may in fact act as an antidepressant, the brain's way of rewarding us for staving off extinction. And just as with any addiction, the brain doesn't know when to turn it off -- the pleasure centers of your brain get accustomed to the high, demanding more and more. And, just to make things even worse, salt may actually contribute to changing our brain chemistry, so that instead of feeling full after eating, we just keep craving more. Combining it with fat and other elements in junk food is actually thought to be about as addictive as heroin.

They also talked about chewing ice as an addiction which lead me to The Cold Water Diet
and on to the The Chocolate Diet. The Cold Water Diet simply tells us what we already know; drinking water helps you to lose weight. The Chocolate Diet, alas, is not about eating lots of chocolate and losing weight, which in my opinion would be the ultimate diet, it is about drinking a cup of xocoatl daily. Xocoatl, for the purposed of this diet, a bitter drink made from unsweetened cocoa and water.

Then there is the Sleeping Beauty Diet, based on the principle that when you are sleeping, you aren't eating.

The Five Bite Diet lets you eat whatever you want, as long as you only take 5 bites. Give me a BIG SPOON, baby!

The HEGAN is a vegan diet for men only. It's supposed to show the 'manly side' of the vegan diet. So, all vegans aren't homosexual wimps?

And if that is't enough for you, there are the REALLY WEIRD diets perfect for those with Pica**:   Cotton Ball Diet, Breatharianism (you eat light, seriously), the Soap diet (not a typo), and the Tapeworm Diet (gross). Or how about the Air Diet? This is where you 'pretend' to eat. Didn't I read about that in a Raggedy Ann and Andy book once? Andy was hungry and Ann gave him an 'air sandwich'. My daughter and I would have air sandwiches and air milk when she was hungry for 'snacks'. (she was 3!)

There are the ever popular single food diets: Egg Diet, Grapefruit Diet, Cabbage Soup Diet. But they get boring quickly, so you might want to add an ingredient; The Beer and Ice Cream Diet, the Wine and Cheese Diet, Pickle and Ice Cream Diet (no, wait, that's a pregnancy craving, scratch that one.)

A friend of mine once told me that his doctor put him on the 'If It Tastes Good Spit It Out Diet.' Which makes me think of Fletcherizing. That is chewing your food from 32 to 100 (depends on what web page you read) times and then spitting it out. Plan on eating alone if you decide on this one.

Hats off to self-proclaimed “fat boy” Dan Radice. He’s supposedly trying every fad diet out there “to view the effectiveness of each.” Hmm, why don’t you just read up on them like the rest of us, Dan? He has tried the  cabbage soup diet, the chocolate diet, the Atkins diet and is still going strong. He has lost 42 pounds to
date. We hope his doctor is on standby.

Lately I've been on that old standby, the See Food Diet. If I see food, I eat it. Which explains a lot.

Well, I feel much better after eating that bag of potato chips. I think its time for lunch. ;)

* my apologies to vegans, homosexuals and wimps everywhere **Pica is a disorder where a person craves things which are not food.

Lest we forget...

2011-09-08T01:11:00.000-05:00

In the days following 9/11, I put together this slideshow. After 10 years, it still makes me cry. May we never stop crying.

Write it, don't eat it.

2011-08-25T09:37:00.000-05:00

I was watching tv this morning, not something I usually do, but t was on and I didn't want to get up an get the remote. Isn't that the epitome of laziness; but I regress. Rachel Ray was on and she is doing a series about a girl who is on a quest to lose weight. This girl is morbidly obese. Anyway, while doing a workout with her trainer, she fell and broke her leg; needing surgery. What caught my mind, was when her trainer told her to 'keep up with her journal because she needed to write her stress, not eat it." I think that is some of the best advice I've seen lately. So, if you are not journaling or blogging your weightloss experience, you need to start. This is something I know I need to get back to.

Weigh In Wednesday GOOD NEWS

2011-08-17T09:24:00.000-05:00

I lost exactly 1.2 lbs this week! WOO HOO Doing the happy dance!

I tried day one of the C25K this morning, just to see if I could do it. I didn't make it through the whole workout. Who knew that jogging for 60 seconds could be so hard! But I am going to keep after it until I conquer week one, even if it take a month! LOL Slow but steady is my motto. I WILL DO THIS THING!
My Bible verse for the year, my mantra if you will is, Isaiah 40:31
But those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

I couldn't sleep last night, for some reason, so I got up and worked on my library. I now have through the M's sorted and on the shelves. I am slowly making progress. After I get all the fiction sorted, I will sort the religious books. We will be bringing a set of Broadman Commentaries home from Amarillo at the end of the month. Plus a bookshelf. Not sure where it will go, but I am always happy to have another bookshelf. A good friend of ours is opening a book-store in a town about 20 miles from here. I am anxious to see it. I already have a box of books to take to trade him.

God bless, and have a Happy Hump Day!!

The first day of the rest of my life....

2011-08-16T18:37:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I turned 59. My dearly beloved says that you aren't 'old' until you are 60, but once you reach 60 there's no way around it; you're old. He said that 3 years ago when he turned 60 :) Anyway, if that is the case, then I am going to make my last year of not being old count.

I am going to eat healthier, exercise more, be more organized....sounds like New Years resolutions. In actuality, I do have some goals for the next year.

Beginning September, I am going to start the C25K (Couch to 5K) program. I am excited.
I am going to get back to healthier eating. I've already started that. So far, so good.
Today I weighed 182.4, my goal is to weigh 150 in one year. That is doable.

There are some other goals, but they aren't for this blog.

How, you might ask, am I planning on doing this? Well, I already told you that September (waiting to see dr with knee on the 31st of Aug. to get his ok) The eating is a lower carb diet. Now, I know that a lot of people have the wrong idea of what a low carb diet is. Well, I want to tell you what it ISN"T. It isn't eating nothing but eggs and bacon. It isn't never eating fruit and vegetable. It isn't unhealthy. It IS making sane choices and eliminating such such things as white potatoes, white bread, white sugar, white rice, white pasta...you get the idea. When you do eat bread, eat wheat, or better yet whole grain. The same with rice and pasta. It also ISN"T never getting to have these things again. It IS making sane choices when it comes to food. Smart carbs are the key. OK, enough of that. If I do these two things, then the weight loss will take care of itself.

By the time next year rolls around, I am going to be one healthy, hot mama! LOL Well, healthy, anyway.

So, what are you going to do over the next year?

A day late..

2011-08-11T09:05:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was supposed to be my weigh in day. However, I just never got around to posting yesterday. So, I'm a day late.

Today's weight was 182.6 That makes my total weight loss. 1.9 lbs. That is better than a gain. However, I know that I have not been watching the quantity of what I am eating. Right now, stress, and not exercising, are my biggest challenges.

When life decides to dump on you, it is so hard to stay on my weight-loss plan. So, I am trying to 're-wire' my brain to not grab something to eat when I get stressed. Something that is easier said than done. After all, I've had that bad habit for the better part of 60 years. However, it CAN be done. One of the keys is to have an 'I CAN' attitude. And I know I CAN do this thing.

Some friends and I have started a 'Biggest Loser Contest' on FaceBook. I am excited. I think it will be a great way to keep me accountable. As well as here. Twice the accountability, twice the chances of keeping me in line. :) And I need that.

Good luck on your journey. Keep on keeping on, and be accountable.

God Bless!

Think about it

2011-08-10T15:23:00.000-05:00

Every morning I get up and watch Good Morning America. Mainly because that is what Hubby has the tv turned to. It is the only tv I watch all day long. After he leaves for work, the television gets turned off. My dislike for tv goes back to the story I've been told about when my family got our first tv. Seems like m sisters would come home from school, and instead of paying attention and playing with their baby sister,they would come in and turn on the tv. So I marched myself over to the television set and kicked it and stomped off. I was 2 at the time, and have never been a big fan of television since then. That's no what I am thinking about this morning, however. What is on my mind is what I see as a very sad trend. I think we've all heard about the young teenage fugitives who are leading police across several states and the 10 year old super model who's provocative poses in French Vogue has risen some eyebrows. This morning they reported on a 7 year old who has been signed to a professional soccer contract. How about the 6 year old dancers from Russia? Of course we all are aware of the Tots in Tiaras controversy. What kind of a message are we wending our children? What ever became of kids being kids? Do we push the to hard? I remember, back when I was a young adult in college, we did a scene from a play, I think it was called The Children's Hour, but not the one the movie was made from or the poem. Anyway, it was an Anti-communism play, and it talked about how the USA would be attacked from inside. One way was to begin schooling children earlier and earlier. At the time, even kindergarten for 5 year olds was only for the ultra-rich. So the idea of sending children to school at 3, was unheard of. But now....3 year old preschool is common, almost mandatory. It seems that many of the 'warnings' we were given in the 50's and 60's, may well be coming true. Warnings that television would 'melt our brains'. Well, I've seen some people whose brains seem to be mush, who sit in front of the television for hours on end watching some of the most ridiculous dribble. That the 'state' would take over our children by requiring them to attend school younger and younger. I know that much of this comes from both parents working, so school might be cheaper than day care. But the fact remains, that children aren't being allowed to be children. This is something that wasn't done over night. It has been a slow process and I don't think we have seen the end of it. Not only are we educating our children earlier and earlier, but they are being taught things that go against our Christian beliefs. And we have allowed it. Now, the big thing is teaching our children that non-traditional families are okay. Schools are teaching sex education to younger and younger children and offer birth control to them.

We are truly frogs in a pot. I know that you have probably heard the story of boiling frogs, right. If not, then I will tell you. If you put a live frog in a pot of boiling water, he will hop our of the pot immediately. If, however, you put a frog in a por of lukewarm waer, the frog will settle down, and you can slowly turn up the hear until the water is boiling and the frog dies. It's tie to WAKE UP AND HOP OUT OF THE POT!!

Can we reverse the trend? God can. I've seen and have received emails and posts that tout
2 Chronicles 7:14, which is not a bad thing, except most of what I see only talks about the 'humble themselves and pray', some go as far as adding 'and seek my face', but NONE of them, that I have seen, talk about the next part of the verse; and TURN FROM THEIR WICKED WAYS! What? God wants us to turn form our wicked ways? He wants us to give up our_______________(you fill in the bank)

My point is, unless we, as a Christian Nation, which is what I believe we are, turn from being a sinful nation, God cannot bless us. We are blocking the blessings.

Think about it.

I started this yesterday morning, and fell asleep in the middle of it. I must have been tired.

Just another Manic Monday.....or should that be Blue Monday

2011-08-08T12:35:00.000-05:00

I was thinking about this song, Just Another Manic Monday, this morning for some reason. Probably because it is Monday, and songs about Monday always pop into my head on Mondays.

It's just another manic Monday
I wish it were Sunday
'Cause that's my funday
My I don't have to runday
It's just another manic Monday
I wish it was Sunday
'Cause that's my funday
It's just another manic Monday

As I was thinking about this song, it occurred to me that it it really doesn't make a lot of sense. So I looked up the word 'manic' to make sure I knew the correct definition. Well, as it turns out I did, and I didn't. Or at least I wasn't thinking of one of the uses of the word 'manic'. You see, if you are Manic, or having periods of Mania, then you are having 'feelings of euphoria, lack of inhibitions, racing thoughts, diminished need for sleep, talkativeness, risk taking, and irritability.' Now, to me, that doesn't sound like what the Bangles were meaning. But another definition is "Frenetically busy; frantic." By the way, frenetically means 'Wildly excited or active; frantic; frenzied.' So, a frantically busy Monday would work. Therefore, I think a better phrase would have been 'just another FRANTIC Monday.' It would have been much less confusing.

I also think that a better song for today would be 'Blue Monday.' That is a much better description of how my day started. I weighed, and even though Saturday I weighed 180, today it read 184.6. I know, water weight or something crazy. I moved my scales to a different spot the other day, and it is definitely weighing heavier. It's crazy. So I have decided to ignore the scales for a while. I am going to keep up my several small meals a day. I am feeling better, and don't seem to be as tired all the time. Even though, half the time I don't get to bed until really late. I still am up at around 7:00 every day. And not sleeping in my recliner all morning like I was. I am still off all meds except the Effexor. I can't come off it until I talk to the dr and figure out how to taper off. I am also taking ibuprofen and Excedrin as needed for pain (knee) and headaches. The UTI seems to be getting better. Am almost completely off caffeine. Had gotten to that point some time ago. There are lots of days I don't have any that I know of. There may be things I eat that have naturally occurring caffeine in them that I am not aware of. Anyway, I am feeling better. My knee still seems a little swollen, but doesn't hurt ALL the time. So far today no pain, but then I haven't been up doing much, yet.

I have an interview tomorrow afternoon. Not really very excited about it. I really don't want a job where I have to drive for an hour to and from work, but that seems to be what I can find. I do have a phone hearing about my unemployment. Seems that my former employer is fighting my getting unemployment payments. If I lose I will have to pay back around $4000. That prospect doesn't thrill me, but have been saving all the unemployment payments since I got the first notification back in June. The hearing will be the 17th. We shall see.

And that is how my day, week is going so far. But I did have a great Bible Study time, which I wrote about here. It did refresh my spirit, and helped me to not be so down today. God is in control and is my Jehovah Rafa.

God Bless!

What's that? I can't hear you..

2011-08-06T23:18:00.001-05:00

Well, I finally heard from the TSA about the medical exam I took. Seems I have too much hearing loss in my left ear to suit them. Not that I can't hear out of my left ear. I can hear just fine. It is the upper level tones I had problems with. They put in a padded room with ear phones on and I had to push the button when I heard the tone. You know the drill, I'm sure. Only I have tinnitus and I couldn't differentiate between the tinnitus and the tone in my left ear. I didn't have the problem in my right ear. I wondered about it at the time. Anyway, it knocked me out of the job. So, I figure I wasn't supposed to get that job. I do have a job interview for a meat inspector job on Tuesday. We'll see how that goes.

Right now, that seems to be the least of my worries. I got a frantic call yesterday from my grand-daughter. Her mom was 'acting really weird. Seeing things and couldn't stand up.' I talked to her boyfriend and by then daughter had laid down and was asleep. She was still having problems this morning. She was seeing double, having bad dizziness and a severe headache, plus slurred speech. These are classic signs of two things. Drunkenness and a stroke. Since I know that she rarely drinks, I didn't figure it was that. I advised the boyfriend to take her to the ER. Which he did. They say she has had some 'mini-strokes' in the past, but that she wasn't having one today. They did a CT scan and sent her home. I was told, at the time, that nothing was wrong. But that was not correct. I just had another call from my grand daughter that they needed to send her mom to a dr. Wisconsin. So I called my daughter, and sure enough, they have determined that SOMETHING is wrong, duh. But these doctors aren't sure what and, yes, they want to send her to a specific specialist in Wisconsin. Only thing, she has no money to get to Wisconsin, nor a place to stay when she gets there, or money to pay doctor bills. So, I am not sure what is going to happen. God knows. That is good enough for me.

These are the kind of things that screw up our weight loss efforts. Stress. Unresolved frustrations lead to unhealthy binge eating. So what should a person do when the stresses of lives build up to that point? One good way to combat stress is to do something physically strenuous. I sorted and moved several boxes of books from the garage into the library. That helped me a lot. Everything was going fine, until hubby decided we needed to go to DQ for ice cream. Then my resolve evaporated. Oh well. Tomorrow is another day.

I have spent a lot of time in prayer. Which is the best (and only) thing I can do. God bless you all.

If it's not one thing, it's another

2011-08-04T09:59:00.000-05:00

I have a UTI. I hate those. I really don't want to go to the dr., so I am trying to avoid that. I figure it is because I have taken so much pain medication with my knee, and I got dehydrated the night of the figure 8 race. Put those together and it spells UTI. Anyway, I have been drinking LOTS of water and taking AZO. It is better this morning. However, I have also decided not to take any medication for a few days. (I did get my dr's ok ) So, right now I have a slight headache. But it will pass. I will have to be very careful to avoid ALL caffeine. So, I will see how it goes. Anyway.... *Supplement to this, one of my meds cannot be skipped. I'd forgotten about that. Bad withdrawal symptoms if I don't take it, so I am going to have to take it, but nothing else. I want to talk to my dr. about coming off of it. I don't think I need the antidepressant, which I was given to help me through menopause.*

I was reading Diana's Weightloss Journey the other day, and she was talking about how she had read or heard about how a person should limit carbs of an evening to help reduce cravings. And that her trainer had told her that she really shouldn't eat fruit of an evening to reduce cravings. I am a snacker, so the idea of having 6 small snack meals a day, rather than 3 large meals, is very appealing to me, but had't thought that fruit of an evening would be bad. So, I have decided to put this to the test. Last night, my evening snack consisted of cheese and a diet coke (caffeine free, of course). I will try this for a few days and see how it goes. I think I am doing ok on my eating. I have cut back on the exercise, because I think I did too much, too soon. I did walk to town ( 4 blocks) yesterday. I needed to pick up a couple of things, and decided that there was just no need to get the truck out, since it was a nice cool morning. The knee did good. I also mowed on Tuesday and again this morning. So far, so good. After I go back for my final check up at the end of August, I will start on a specific exercise routine. Until then, it will just be in the form of house work. Speaking of which, yesterday I got a pretty good workout in my library. As most of you know, I have a passion for books. A few years ago, hubby and I, turned our small bedroom into a library. The books were on the shelves in no particular order, which made it very hard to find a particular book, so I decided to take on the daunting task of sorting the books by author. It isn't going to be a quick project, to say the least, but will be easy to maintain after I am done. Pulling books off the shelves, sorting them, deciding which ones stay and which ones go in the 'to be disposed of later' boxes will take time and energy. I also have several boxes of books in the garage to bring in and sort through.

I suppose I better get off the computer and get to it, or it will NEVER happen. God bless!

O Happy Day...

2011-08-02T12:43:00.000-05:00

Today is a good day. I got up and the knee wasn't hurting. I know I said I wasn't going to push things, but my lawn is desperately needing mowed. So I got out my handy dandy little electric mower hubby bought me, that I really do love, and started in to mowing. I got one section mowed, and decided I'd better stop for today. The knee, that I had wrapped which helped a lot, was starting to hurt quite a bit, so I stopped mowing, came in and took some ibuprofen. That is my new best friend these days. I can take 2 ibuprofen and it helps stop the pain. I still have some of the hydrocodone, but don't want to take it unless the ibuprofen doesn't help. Anyway, After cooling down and letting the pills take effect, I showered and dressed. I really do feel so much better than yesterday. So, perhaps, I will get some housework done, and not just sit and eat all day. I know that as soon as my knee gets all better, I will be able to get back to the exercising. Which I was really enjoying, and I do love walking. For now, I am going to take things as slow and easy as I can.

Well, gotta hobble down stairs and put some clothes in the dryer.

God Bless.

UGH!

2011-08-01T13:22:00.000-05:00

Well, as you can see, all my effort last week resulted in exactly .1 gain. I don't know. I tried to eat smaller, healthier meals. I did exercise more. That resulted in doing too much too soon, and now my knee is protesting. So here I sit today. Rethinking it all. That isn't exactly a good thing to be dong because I am on the verge of saying screw it all...... It's really just a Blue Monday. Even a LITTLE weight loss would have helped my mood immensely, but that wasn't to be. Besides my knee hurting when I got up this morning, dr. and hospital bills are starting to arrive. It's $100 here, and $50 there., $400 somewhere else. Those mount up quite quickly, you know. Plus, I had a most disturbing call from my daughter last night. Not being able to help her, or even being there to give her a hug,brings me down. So here I sit today. Needing to get up and clean the kitchen, vacuum, put away clean laundry and go by some groceries and really not wanting to do any of it. It is the pits to be this depressed. I KNOW what I need to do, just getting myself to do it is the trick.

Okay, enough whine. On with my day...

God bless.

Making up lost time.

2011-07-31T14:49:00.001-05:00

Friday Weight: 182.4; Saturday Weight: 179.6 Today's weight 184.2

Okay, I forgot to post anything on Friday and I started a post yesterday, but never got it finished. So I am going to try to make up for lost time today.

Right now, there is a telemercial on about a 6 Week Body Makeover. Eat More, Exercise Less and lose weight. It sounds so tempting to spend the $400 to get the program. And maybe it isn't a rip off. Their principal is to figure out your own personal metabolism and to eat only the foods that trigger your fat fighting metabolism and to do exercises that target your personal trouble spots. Okay people, if this really works to fight obesity, then why not make it available to everyone for free. After all, obesity is an epidemic in this country. You see, diet gimmicks are really out there, not to help those who are fighting thee obesity battle, but to make their owners lots of money. That is why, before you jump on some diet bandwagon, you should ask yourself, "Who is really profiting from this?" If you profit with a new attitude about food, a new way of eating, a new lifestyle, or are 'they' just profiting by taking your hard earned money? Basically, my Mother was right. (as usual) The only way to lose weight and keep it off is to eat less, exercise more. Less in put, more out put.....simple as that.

God bless and good luck on your journey.

Making up lost time.

2011-07-31T14:48:00.000-05:00

I didn't want to do it.....

2011-07-28T11:19:00.000-05:00

today's weight: 181.5 :)

I didn't want to exercise this morning. This condition was worsened when I couldn't find my stretch band. I knew that I had put it somewhere so I would know exactly where it was. Perhaps, subconsciencely I really didn't want to find it. I don't know, but I did find it and forced myself to exercise. I will not be able to do the second set of Pilates until my knee completely heals since it involves putting pressure on the knee. So I will do exercise 1 for now. It is a pretty good workout in itself. Perhaps my muscles won't be quite as sore tomorrow.

Lets talk about diets. There are literally thousands of 'fad' diets out there and if you are like me, you have probably tried them all; or at least feel like you have. However, fad diets usually don't work, and even if you are able to lose some weight, as soon as you start back to eating 'normal', you gain at least part of the weight back. This causes you to go on another diet, more weight loss then gain again. It becomes a never ending struggle that we have all been through. So what is the solution? Two Things, really. Portion Control! Seriously. I got so sick and tired of counting. Calories, fat grams, carbs, points. Always I was counting something. UGH!!! Enough of that. I have decided that my biggest problem is not WHAT I eat, but HOW MUCH I eat. The other thing is exercise. (groan) I really hate exercise. I do, however, love to walk. So walking has become my exercise of choice. I am, right now, making (and I mean that literally, I have to make myself) do a Pilates exercise program that I have on DVD on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Truth be known, I don't enjoy it, but I know it is for my own good. Especially since I have been sedentary for the past several months after my knee injury. My knee probably wouldn't have gotten so bad if I'd continued walking. But then again, maybe it would have. I don't know. What I do know is that I am now eating less, and a little healthier because I am eating more fruit and vegetables, and I am moving more. The result will be weight loss.
It is very liberating to not be under some diet's 'count this' regime. I know that many people swear by certain diets or diet groups, and that is great if it works for them. They just aren't for me. At least not right now.

God Bless and remember to count your blessings!

The Big Block and Water

2011-07-27T10:15:00.000-05:00

Today's weight: 183.8 : \

Today, Chico and I walked .8 miles. No, I don't have a pedometer, but I did drive my walking route, and the 3 square block area I walk is .8 miles. That makes it easy to keep up with how far I am walking, rather than just rambling around town. I do that occasionally, too. I had planned on walking the 'big block' twice for 1.6 miles, but my knee started aching, so I decided that it wasn't ready for the increase. I do wish we had a better place to walk. It is a choice of the track at the HS football field or on the streets. I don't like to walk at the track. It seems too much like exercise there, and I can't bring Chico, as dogs are not allowed. That is why I mapped out the three square block area around my house. I have decided that I will wait until Monday to try to increase my walking. After sitting with it up for just a few minutes, my knee was feeling just fine. I want to get a new pair of walking shoes. I like having a pair that I save specifically for walking. The ones I have now are 2 years old, maybe 3. They are still in good shape, but I wear them most of the time any more.
Of course, I have to wait until we have the money, so the old ones will have to do for a bit.

We all know that drinking water is essential to good health and weight loss. There are probably hundreds of theories as to how much water a person need to consume. What I have found in researching this matter is that there are three things that should be considered when calculating how much water you drink: weight, physical activity, and climate. A fourth thing to consider would be any medications you are on, as some have dehydration as a side effect. The consensus is that a person need to drink 8 - 10 eight oz. glasses of water daily. Of course, the more you weigh, the more active you are, and the drier your climate, the more you need to drink. This brings to mind the question "can you drink too much water?" Well, the answer is yes, but...
While it is possible to drink too much water and experience water intoxication and even death, it is unlikely that you will if you use common sense. First of all, DON'T drink you daily water intake all at once. If you have been exercising or outside in the heat and drink even a liter of water because you are really thirsty, that isn't a problem, but don't just sit down and guzzle 10 gallons of water all at once. I have found that it is a good idea to shoot for drinking 1 cup of water (8 oz) every hour you are awake. I was giving this advice by a Urologist some 40 years ago. This especially works if you just aren't fond of water. If you do this, in addition to other drinks such as coffee, tea, diet drinks, etc., you should be getting an ample amount of fluid in your body without having any hazardous side effects. The worse thing that will happen is you'll need to go to the bathroom a lot. Speaking of going to the bathroom, take a look at your urine. Is it pale yellow or clear? If so, then you are getting plenty of water/liquid. If it is dark yellow, then you are possibly slightly dehydrated and should, perhaps increase your liquid intake. One thing to remember, however, is that alcohol, caffeine and artificial sweeteners can all cause dehydration, so make certain that you are drinking plenty of plain old H2O.

God bless and happy drinking!

Pilates and Yoga

2011-07-26T10:14:00.000-05:00

Today's weight 182.4 :)

I was cleaning the DVD shelf and came across a DVD that I'd never used; " Louise Solomon's Yoga & Pilates". I decided that I would see how it would be for my T/Th strength and stretching exercises. It was wonderful. I was a little afraid it would involve a lot of bending, squatting and putting pressure on my knee; which I'm not ready for, yet. However the first set was perfect. I enjoyed it, and felt like I'd had a good workout. I was pleased that it did not involve a lot of equipment. A towel or mat to lay on, I have towels, and a stretch band, I happen to have one of those, can't remember why, but I have one.

Workout 1 is a 26 minute mat-based workout focusing upon lying down and sitting up, the center of the body, abdominals, lower back and pelvic muscles. I will do this workout on Tuesdays.
Workout 2 is a 30 minute workout strengthening the midback muscles and spine creating a great posture. Also concentrates on toning the arms, legs, and behind. I will see if this will work on Thursday. As long as I don't have to get on my knees, I will probably be able to do it. If not, then I will do Workout 1 until my knee gets completely healed.

Until I started this exercise program (read, this morning), I had no idea what Pilates consisted of. But I'd heard a lot of people talking about doing Pilates. So I Googled Pilates to see what I could find out about this form of exercise. According to About.com , Pilates is a form of exercise, developed by Joseph Pilates, which emphasizes the balanced development of the body through core strength, flexibility, and awarness in order to support efficient, graceful movement. Sounds good.
However, if you noticed, I called this post Pilates AND Yoga. I basically know what yoga is, but not really. The best definition I found was from Lifetime-Fitness-Routines.com . Yoga: A system of exercises for attaining bodily or mental control and well-being. Various forms of yoga include poses (or asanas) for building strength and flexibility, breathing exercises for cleansing, and/or meditation for relaxation and stress reduction.
Yogalates, which is what this exercise program professes to be, is a blend of Yoga and Pilates. It is designed to integrate the Pilates methodology into the practice of hatha yoga for a more complete system of exercise.
So there you have it, my T/Th exercise program. If I continue, and I plan to continue, then I should be healthier, more flexible, stronger, and thinner in no time at all......or 3 months or so. I know that there will be times when it will not be possible to do my workout routine, but since neither walking nor Pilates requires any special equipment, I should be able to do it, even when traveling.

Well, it is now time to do a little light housekeeping. God Bless!!

The Quest Begins

2011-07-25T18:39:00.000-05:00

Today begins my new weight-loss quest. I am determined to do this by exercising more and eating a healthier diet.
Today's weight: 184.5 Goal weight: 150 Goal date: 11-24-2011 That is a loss of approximately 2 pounds per week, which is very doable. I plan on walking M/W/F and will do upper body strength and stretching exercises on T/Th. Saturday and Sundays will be for spending time with hubby and resting.

15 Best Diet Tips Ever
1. Drink plenty of water or other calorie-free beverages.People sometimes confuse thirst with hunger. So you can end up eating extra calories when an ice-cold glass of water is really what you need.
2.Think about what you can add to your diet, not what you should take away.Start by focusing on getting the recommended 5-9 servings of fruits and vegetables each day.
3.Best Diet Tip No. 4: Be choosy about nighttime snacks.Mindless eating occurs most frequently after dinner, when you finally sit down and relax.

4.Best Diet Tip No. 5: Enjoy your favorite foods."I think putting your favorite foods off limits leads to weight gain because it triggers 'rebound' overeating," says Sass.Instead of cutting out your favorite foods altogether, be a slim shopper. Buy one fresh bakery cookie instead of a box, or a small portion of candy from the bulk bins instead of a whole bag.

5.Enjoy your treats away from home.When you need a treat, Ellie Krieger, RD, host of Food Network's Healthy Appetite,suggests taking a walk to your local ice cream parlor or planning a family outing.

6. Enjoy your treats away from home.When you need a treat, Ellie Krieger, RD, host of Food Network's Healthy Appetite,suggests taking a walk to your local ice cream parlor or planning a family outing.

7.Eat several mini-meals during the day. If you eat fewer calories than you burn, you will lose weight. But when you're hungry all the time, eating fewer calories can be challenging."Studies show people who eat 4-5 meals or snacks per day are better able to control their appetite and weight," says obesity researcher Rebecca Reeves, DrPH, RD.

8. Eat protein at every meal.Protein is more satisfying than carbohydrates or fats, and thus may be the new secret weapon in weight control.

9.Spice it up.Add spices or chiles to your food for a flavor boost that can help you feel satisfied."Food that is loaded with flavor will stimulate your taste buds and be more satisfying so you won't eat as much," says Perdomo.

10.Stock your kitchen with healthy convenience foods.Having ready-to-eat snacks and meals-in-minutes staples on hand sets you up for success. You'll be less likely to hit the drive-through or call in a pizza order if you can make a healthy meal in 5 or 10 minutes.

11.Order children's portions at restaurants."When you are eating out, order a child's pizza or a small sandwich as an easy way to trim calories and get your portions under control," suggest Perdomo.

12.Eat foods in season."If you don't love certain fruits or vegetables, it could be because you ate them out of season when they have little taste or flavor," says Pensiero. "When you eat seasonally, fruits and vegetables are more flavorful, at their best, and I promise you won't be disappointed."

13.Swap a cup of pasta for a cup of vegetables.Simply by eating less pasta or bread and more veggies, you could lose a dress or pants size in a year."You can save from 100-200 calories if you reduce the portion of starch on your plate and increase the amount of vegetables," says Sass.

14.Use non-food alternatives to cope with stress.Sooner or later, you're going to be faced with a stressful situation. Instead of turning to food for comfort, be prepared with some non-food tactics that work for you.Sass suggests reading a few chapters in a novel, listening to music, writing in a journal, practicing meditative deep breathing, or looking at a photo album of loved ones.

15.Be physically active. Although it may seem counterintuitive, don't use exercise either to punish yourself for eating or to "earn" the right to eat more.

I don't know if these are the 'Best Ever' Dieting tips, but they are good.

Back to Normal, Whatever That Is

2011-07-24T17:54:00.000-05:00

Well, the grandkids are gone and it's back to just me and the old man (and the cat and the dog). I have enjoyed having my grandkids here. It was wonderful to have the grandson here to help me before and after my surgery. I wished the granddaughters could have stayed the whole time. We had a lot of fun going to Amarillo to see my parents and going to Wonderland Amusement Park and doing other things. I will miss them, but at the same time, it is nice to have the house back. I won't have to worry about entertaining anyone, although they weren't hard to entertain. Still, I had to make sure the grandson ate good food, bathed, wore clean clothes; you get the idea. Even 16 year olds need looked after, ya know. When it is just the two of us, we have a tendancy to not shut the bathroom door, wonder around in our underwear, among other things that you just don't do in front of the grandkids. It just doesn't seem like summer is almost over and kids will be heading back to school soon.

Now, hubby and I need to set down and look at our budget. We are looking at quite a bit in medical bills, even though our insurance pays 90%, the 10% can be high on two surgeries, not to mention multiple x-rays, cat scans, MRI's, blood tests, etc. So we will have to decide if we can afford to go to Mobile for the Navy Reunion this year, and what else we might need to cut back on, especially if I lose my unemployment and have to pay THAT back. (my former employers are fighting it, it appears, but I have no idea when the hearing will be, so in the mean time I still need to file, and receive, unemployment. I am putting my unemployment into savings now, just in case I do have to pay it back, but that makes the budget awfully tight. It is a mess. But that is more than you need to know. I know that God will provide, but we may need to cut a few things out for a while.

But all is not bad. I am getting closer to the TSA job. And I keep applying for any other job that I qualify for (and a few I am not qualified for). So far, I either do not hear back, or I get nice letters telling me that they aren't interested in hiring me. I know that if I am supposed to go back to work, God has the perfect job for me. I am still confident that the last job I has was one He sent, but my time working there was done. Hubby and I went for years not depending on my salary to pay bills. It seems that over the past 10 years, we began to depend on it more and more. Maybe that is where God is wanting us to be again.

I am also getting more and more happy with not working. I am glad I got to be here with my grandkids, and I didn't have to take off work to have my knee surgery. :) God has blessed through it all. It has also been good for my faith.

I pray that your summer is going good. God bless you all.

The End of a Busy Week

2011-07-22T17:12:00.000-05:00

I am glad that it is Friday, but I can't for the life of me imagine why. When you are unemployed, Friday just doesn't have the appeal it used to. lol This, however has been a particularly busy week.
Lets see, Monday afternoon I had PT, which went okay, and it didn't make my knee hurt. The Phys Therapist said I should talk with the Dr. about releasing me from PT because I am doing so well.
Tuesday, grandson and I headed back to Amarillo, Texas. He has a driver's permit, so I let him drive. He did really well, for someone who hasn't driven on the highway before. We made it to Amarillo about 4 o'clock and had a great visit with my Mom and Daddy. They are both in their 80's and doing great, but not getting around as good as they used to. Wednesday I was off to the doctor for my checkup. He was greatly pleased with how my knee is doing and told me I could stop the PT, which makes me happy. He said that walking would be the best exercise, just to start off slowly, which I would do any way. Then he said that I could even work up to jogging. I laughed about that. After seeing the doctor, we headed back to Kansas. Thursday morning it was off to Dodge City for a Medical Assessment for the TSA job. I also got to have lunch with my oldest niece, which was very nice. Everything went good at the assessment. Nice low blood pressure, no vision problems, good flexibility and reflexes. I did want to hit the dr. when he checked my reflexes on the knee I just had operated on. :`( The big bully! lol Then last night my daughter and her faience showed up unexpectedly. They were going from Topeka to Amarillo and dropped the daughter off at a friends in LaCrosse, so they decided to spend the night at our house and head to Amarillo today. They are going to see the grandparents. Last night was one of those rare nights when I was actually sleepy at bedtime, and my silly chihuahua decided to bark all night long. I could have rang his cute little neck!! After taking them out to breakfast, they headed on out and I spent the rest of the day paying bill and working on my budget. A most depressing chore. The doctor bills have started coming, and I am trying to figure out how we are going to stretch our pittance out to cover them! If anyone would like to donate to the Ida-needs-money fund, I'll
gladly take it.

So, that is how my week has been. Grandson will go home on Sunday, when daughter comes back through and gathers her children. It will be quiet, and I will miss him, but I am sorta looking forward to not having extras around again.

Good by and God bless.

A blog of dumb jokes

2011-07-19T01:25:00.000-05:00

Couldn't sleep tonight, again. So, I posted another round of jokes on facebook. So you won't feel left out, I will copy them here for you to enjoy. :)

If it weren't for sports, I'd never know what a millionaire looks like.

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.

‎-What do you call a cat who drinks lemonade?
+ A sourpuss!!

I once had a thought, but it died of loneliness.

blonde to geek: What does idk mean?
geek: I don't know
blonde: why does everyone use it when no one knows what it means?

how do drown a blonde?
put a scratch ad sniff sticker on the bottom of the pool

how do you know which office computer belongs to the blonde?
its the one with the white out on the monitor screen.

then there's the blonde who got fired from the M&M factory for throwing out all the W's

If Barbie is so popular why do have to buy her friends?

what do you call a brunette between 2 blondes? an interpreter.

A day without sunshine is like, night.

‎73.4% of all statistics are made up.

why are blonde jokes so short?
so red heads can understand them
so brunettes can remember them

on the other hand,
you have five more fingers.

Plan to be spontaneous

Math teachers have lots of problems.

I've never seen a hummingbird, but I've watched a spelling bee.

Why do squares do so well in Geometry?
It's their area.

What did the acorn say when it grew up?
Geometry.

Did you hear about the student that limped into the room with a lame excuse?

My teacher may be real smart bout some thangs, but she sure don't know nuthin bout cookin. Today she told us "pi r squared". Everybody knows pie are round. Cornbread are square.

Why is 10 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.

What's bigger than a tuba?
a threeba.

the number 12 walks into a bar and orders a beer.
I'm sorry, replies the bartender, I can't serve you.
Why not? yells the number 12
Because you are under 18.

‎2 men walk into a bar together and sit at 2 booths back to back. When the waitress delivers their drinks, she asks if they know each other. When they reply yes, she asks why they don't sit at the same booth.
"Because we're Baptists and we never drink in front of each other."

Its so dry in Texas that the Baptists are sprinkling, the Methodists are spitting, and the Catholics are giving out IOU's

I asked my Dad how long it had been since they got rain in Amarillo. He said he believed they got about a quarter of an inch during Noah's flood. ;)

and last but not least......

With blessings from your favorite blonde joke......

after surgery ---Day 6

2011-07-17T22:54:00.000-05:00

I have decided that I am whining way too much about my knee pain. So I have decided to STOP THAT!
It is counterproductive to whine. It's like I put up a tent and camped out in the pain. That is not good.
I got up and went to church this morning, and was SO glad that I did. I had really, really missed it. I didn't get to lead the singing, but it was good to be in the congregation and watch someone else do it. But next week I will be back where I belong.

Today, because I decided NOT to let the pain rule me, I didn't take any pain pills. I still spemt most of the day sleeping. The incisions are still bleeding just a little. I had to quit putting Bandades on them because the tape was causing a rash. So I have been wrapping it in gauze; still putting Neosporin on them, as per the dr's directions. I go back for a checkup on Wednesday. I am praying that by then all will be healed nicely.

G'night, God Bless!

after surgery--- day 5

2011-07-16T20:00:00.000-05:00

It's Saturday, and like most Saturdays we got up and went to garage sales. They weren't good garage sales today, unless you were needing baby things. Lots of baby things for sale. Fortunately, we don't need baby stuff. Anyway, that was a little much walking for me. Came home and iced knee down.

I noticed that the tape on the bandages was making my knee red and irritated, so I sent hubby to store to get some rolled gauze to make a bandage out of. Hoping the tape burns will heal quickly. Grandson drove him to store. It's the first time any of the grands have driven with Grandaddy. He said the boy did 'fine'. Which, from that man is a high complement.

I now am, once again sitting with leg propped up, ice on the knee, and Chico snuggled up to my leg. Took one pain pill and am doing okay.

I plan on attending church tomorrow. I wont be leading the music, yet. I am praying that I'll be back in the pulpit next Sunday. I am so thankful that I have wonderful people who are there to help me when I can't be. God has blessed my/us by placing us in ISBC to serve Him. I miss praising and worship God through music. That is my calling, but I've been away from it for a long time, it seems. (3 weeks). I pray that I can be back soon, but I know it will be in God's time.

God bless you all. Have a good Lord's day tomorrow.

After surgery ---day 4

2011-07-16T00:43:00.000-05:00

I didn't have much pain when I woke up today. I figured that would be take of when I went to PT at 1:00.
Luckily, it didn't hurt that much, even after PT. The ladies from church fed us supper tonight and will feed us again tomorrow night. YUM. They also brought me a beautiful blue cross for my collection. It was very sweet of them. So much for my complaining. I am ashamed of myself, but I do think that was brought on by the pain yesterday. Please forgive me.

About 9 tonight my knee got to hurting, so I took 2 pain pills, figuring they would put me to sleep, as usual. But NOOOO. Tonight they just gave me the sillies. With that in mind I give you some of my favorite one liners.

I'm not myself today. Maybe I'm you.

My favorite mythical creature? The honest politician.

Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

Never hit a man with glasses.
Hit him with a baseball bat.

We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian

If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad

Talk low, talk slow and don't talk too much"

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

Clones are people two.

A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.

Money is the root of all wealth.

Knock Knock
Who's There?
Cows go
Cows go who?
No, Cows go Moo.

Knock Knock
Who's There?
Deloris
Deloris Who?
Deloris my Shepherd, I shall not want

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Armageddon
Armageddon who?
Armageddon sleepy, so I'll say good night now.

Good night and God Bless!!

After the Surgery Day 3

2011-07-14T19:07:00.000-05:00

Today was the day. I have had more pain than I did before the surgery. At least more constant pain. They tell me it is because of the PT I did yesterday. All I know is that it has hurt and I take pain pills and sleep and dream weird dreams, then wake up and hurt some more so I take more pain pills....you get the picture. It hasn't been fun. I tried wrapping my knee and putting ice on it, but that didn't really seem to help it any, so I took it off and that didn't seem to help either. Maybe I nee to try just wrapping it, or just putting ice on it. I've walked around the house, to the bath room, to the bed room, etc. That makes it hurt that much more. I really dread going to PT tomorrow.

I've also wondered something, and I am NOT complaining, but it seems that when anyone else from our church is sick, people bring them food and check on them, and make certain they are doing ok. But so far, I have gotten 1 card in the mail. I feel very unimportant. *sigh* Okay, I'm done with the pity party.

God bless!

After the Surgery-----Day 1

2011-07-12T09:29:00.000-05:00

I realize that I don't have a lot of patience. I quit praying for patience a long time ago. Seems like if I'd pray for patience, God would send me into the middle of construction; the kind that requires you to sit in traffic for hours on end. I finally realized that maybe I needed to stop praying for patience and start practicing it! lol
I say to say this; I am tired of this. I am tired of having my leg wrapped from toe to thigh. I am tired of being hooked up to this ice machine; although I know that it is keeping me from having a lot of pain. I am tired of my knee being the focus of my life. I am SOOOOO ready to just do things without thinking about how it will affect my knee. However, I also know that in order for my knee to once again become normal, I have to go through this annoyance stage. So go through it I will, but nothing says I have to like it. As a matter of fact, I would really have problems if I actually LIKED it.

Truth be known, my knee is doing well. I can walk on it without massive pain. I do have to keep it wrapped today, then tomorrow it can come off and I will do PT. NOT looking forward to that. Mostly because everyone I know who has ever had to do PT after orthopedic surgery says it hurts. I don't like the thought of 'it hurts'; thank you very much.

So for today, here I sit; foot propped up in the recliner. Since there is little else I can do, I think I will take another nap.

TTFN and Be blessed!

Knee Surgery

2011-07-11T21:15:00.000-05:00

I had my knee surgery this morning. The dr. said it was an easy repair, and the surgery was pretty quick (30 minutes). They sent me home with an ice pad machine; it is awesome. So far, I have had no measurable pain and have taken no pain pills, which is an answer to prayer. I am so very thankful for all my friends who have been praying for me. I know that this has goon well because of God's answered prayers. I look forward to being up and around and able to start walking again within a week to 10 days.

As a side note, they weighed me first thing this morning' I'm talking 5:30 AM. I weighed in at 184.3 lbs. This is down from at Dr. on Wednesday when I weighed 188.6. That started the day off right.and it has gotten better.

In advance, I thank you for all the prayers for continued healing. God is good and He has never failed me.

God bless you all....

You can with Dukan..

2011-07-08T10:27:00.000-05:00

If you have read my blog, especially during my weight loss, you know that I am a proponent of the low-carb diets. At least for me personally. Since I have gained around 25 pounds since I have been off my feet due to my bummed up knee, I know that once I am back to walking and exercise, I will also need to get back to a weight loss plan. Yes, I fully realize that just being unable to do much walking is no excuse for making bad diet choices. But I danced and I must pay the piper.

With this in mind, I have been reading about the Dukan Diet (or the French Atkin's Diet). It is basically a low-carb diet with 4 phases. It stresses meals that are protien rich, lower in carbs and fats. It doesn't require counting anything, and you are allowed to eat as much as you want of allowed foods. Of course, we all know that portion control is a very important concept to learn. And one which gives me a lot of trouble. I do love to eat and eat and eat. I lost 60 pounds on a modified Atkins diet a couple of years ago, and I think I can lose 30 - 40 pounds on the Dukan Diet. One thing that impressed me, and one reason I want to go this route, is the oat bran that you eat daily, and during the final, or maintenance phase, you can eat pretty much whatever you want for 6 days and do the protein and oat bran only for one day. I can do that.

I will begin the program as soon as the doctor releases me to start walking again. Wish me luck!!

The process

2011-07-07T16:09:00.000-05:00

I have been using a site called indeed.com to look for a job. It searches the internet job posting sited and sends me an email if there are available jobs that fall within my preset criteria. Shortly after losing my most recent job, I noticed an ad for a TSO at the Garden City airport. Since I have to be looking (and applying) for jobs to keep getting my unemployment, I applied online for this position even though it is a part-time position. Thus I began the adventursome process of applying for a government job.

The first thing I did was fill out the application. This was pretty easy to do. After hearing from the TSA that my application had been accepted, I was scheduled for the computer based test. I cannot go into details about this test (I swore I wouldn't), I can tell you that part 1 was over reading comprehension, grammar and spelling; part 2 was the ability to read x-rays. That was fun, especially the x-ray part. I had not had a lot of experience looking at x-rays. These were color x-rays and you had to find specified objects. It was a lot harder than I thought it would be. I felt a little embarrassed because they gave us 2 hours to complete the test and I was finished in less than 30 minutes. I passed this test and was ready for the 2nd step.

After passing the computer based test, I was given a contingency offer, which I accepted. I think this is to make sure a person is still interested in the employment opportunity before proceeding with the preliminary credit check. I filled out Form 2811 to allow the TSA to do a credit check on me. I would have been quite surprised if my credit hadn't checked out okay, but it did.

The third step is the Airport Assessment Interview. While waiting to hear when and where I would have my Airport Assessment, I was instructed to fill out an e86 form. The e86 is an online form for a background study. I filled it out the best I could, sent it off, got it back for corrections, corrected it and sent it off again. I had to give an explanation as to why I do not know where my (late) Father-in-law was born. I really did try to find this information out, but no one seems to know. Anyway, the e85 was finally accepted. It seemed like it took forever to receive word on the Airport Assessment, but I finally did receive a phone call to set up the appointment. There were 4 parts to the Assessment, which took place in Great Bend, KS, a 2 hour drive from where I live. First was filling out and signing paperwork, then the interview, color blindness test and finally fingerprinting. The paperwork was the standard 'have you ever been convicted of a felon, are you legal to work in the US, are you over 18, yada yada yada, blah blah blah. The interview was a lot different than what I anticipated. I assumed it would be at typical job interview. What made it different was that I was asked a set of printed questions such as 'Describe a time when someone questioned your ability to do your job. What did you do about it and what was the outcome?' I got through it the best I could, being forthright and honest. I guess that is what they were looking for because I passed the interview. I was once again given a contingency offer of employment, which I once again accepted. The colorblindness test was kind of cool. There was a series of colored dots starting with the medium blue, I was instructed to look at the beginning dot (the medium blue) and find a dot hat was closest to the same color. You progressed until you had all 15 dots lined up. I was given 2 minutes to complete the test, I did it in about 15 seconds. But I had them 100% correct. I was fingerprinted and given a packet to take to the Medical Assessment, which is the next step. I will need to call in the morning to set up the appointment for that.

That is where I am as of right now. There is a website, called Candidate Dashboard, where I can go and see what is next on the ladder for me.

I applied for 2 other positions by mail this morning. We will see if anything comes from them.

God bless!

Job interviews and knee surgery

2011-07-06T22:01:00.000-05:00

I had the pre-op lab work done today. Now I am all ready for my surgery on Monday.
I had a job interview today. It went quite well, but I don't think I will take the job. It is 40 miles from where I live That would be 80 miles per day round trip. The job was for the 'B' shift. That would be 5:30 pm to 2 am. It would be only 5 days per week Monday - Friday with some Saturdays. It wouldn't be a bad job, but it just flat didn't pay enough to warrant me driving 80 miles a day; plus it was a temporary job.
I have another job interview tomorrow morning. Unfortunately, it will be 2 hours from here. That is what happens when you have to go to corporate for the interview.
Well, these are the things I have to do to keep getting my unemployment payments, I guess. I sent 2 applications off today. Some day, maybe I will find a job. I am getting awfully used to not working, though, and that worries me because I am beginning to not want to work and that makes it hard to even look for a job.

Oh well. I gotta get my knee fixed first. Then we will see. But right now I need to get to bed because 5 will come early in the morning.

God bless...

Weight up....mood down...

2011-07-05T12:26:00.000-05:00

I stepped on the scales this morning. YIKES! 188.5 :( Not good , not good at all.

This summer, being laid off, not exercising because of my knee, facing surgery...all has had me in a bummer mood for quite some time. I need to shake this off and get back on the program, but I have a very bad case of 'don't care, don't want to' going on. If I am not careful, I will be back over the 200 mark. I am close than I ever wanted to be.

What do you do when you seem to have quit caring? What advice do you have for someone who wants to give up (but not really)?

I will be having surgery on my knee on the 11th. I think getting that fixed so it doesn't hurt all the time will be a big help. Then I can start walking again. That will help.

Anyway, being aware of it is the first step. Then implementing a plan to begin and DOING IT is next. I think I will make it through the surgery first, then worry about the weight.

Thanks for listening.

Wear Your Tiara to Work Day...

2011-07-01T09:17:00.000-05:00

Okay people, we need to get together on this. I have found 3 links for this, and each date is different!
http://leondrassecondlife.blogspot.com/2011/04/proposition-wear-your-tiara-to-work-day.html
https://twitter.com/#!/lakelandcenter
and http://wearyourtiaratowork.blogspot.com/
here is the Google search page: http://www.google.com/#sclient=psy&hl=en&biw=1366&bih=653&source=hp&q=wear+your+tiara+to+work+day&pbx=1&oq=wear+your+tiara+to+work+day&aq=f&aqi=&aql=undefined&gs_sm=e&gs_upl=4728l17301l0l29l18l0l2l2l0l1660l9392l0.1.6.3.2.2.1.2.1l18&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.&fp=733c9000aadb1943

How am I supposed to know WHEN to wear my tiara to work? Serioiusly? Maybe I'll just wear it every day, then I will be certain not to miss this most important day.

(on a more serious note) I will be having surgery on my knee on the 11th of July. When I am healed and can walk again, I will need to seriously get back to walking for exercise and maybe even work up to running. i also need to get back to making healthy choices in what I eat. I have gained 30 lbs and now weigh 188.8!! Not a good thing for certain. Besides being really hard on my knees, all my clothes are getting WAY to small. :( YIKES! That is a Non-scale DEFEAT!! I know I can do it, I just have not had much motivation since my knee has been messed up and I have been going through a depression after losing my job for the second time. Do you suppose God is trying to tell me something? On the plus side, I have really gotten to enjoy having my grand-kids with me this summer.

Praying you all have a safe and happy Fourth of July weekend. HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA!

25% off Secrets

2011-06-28T07:58:00.000-05:00

Use code VH72S and get 25% off Secrets, an e-novel by Beth Richardson, at www.smashwords.com

Secrets, an e- novel by Beth Richardson

Prologue

He watched George and Manda walk arm into arm to George’s apartment. Slowly he exited his vehicle, being careful not to slam the door. He knew that they were unaware that he had been following them for weeks. Tonight he would put a stop to their lies and deceit. He smiled as he walked to the door, feeling the weight of the .38 in his pocket. With confidence he opened the door of the apartment and walked in. Manda smiled when she saw him, “We weren’t expecting you,” she said, getting up off the sofa and walking toward him. He pulled the gun from his pocket and pulled the trigger as she reached to give him a hug. George sat on the sofa, too stunned to move. He smiled. “You didn’t think you’d get away with it, did you?” A look of confusion crossed George’s face; his unspoken question would never be answered. The gunman slowly leveled the gun at George forehead and pulled the trigger. “I can’t leave them here, together,” he thought. He walked out and ran across to his vehicle and pulled it up to the door. He struggled as he loaded them into the back of it. He never realized how heavy dead bodies could be. His first stop was at Manda’s house. He drove his vehicle into the garage and dragged her into the house and dumped her in the living room. He worked as quickly as he could, not knowing how long it would be before her husband came home and found her. Next, he drove out to Calhoun Feeders and dumped the second body. He was glad that there wasn’t much traffic out tonight. His next stop was at the house that sat just out of town. He walked over to the old well and struggled to pull the cover back. He dropped the gun into the well and pushed to cover back into place. It was done.

Secrets, an e-novel, can be purchased exclusively a smashwords.com.

What I did in my spare time.....lol

2011-06-22T19:08:00.000-05:00

I have written a book. It is a murder mystery. I e-published it. Here is a link:

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/68527

www.smashwords.com

Busy, busy, busy

2011-06-14T02:15:00.000-05:00

Can't believe that it has been so long since I posted. And after reading my last post, I really should have let everyone know that I am feeling much better. Right now 3 of my grand-kids are here with me. i wish the other one would get to come, but that isn't going to happen, and I need to accept that. Anyway, we are having a good time. But my g-daughters have been camped out on my computers for the past week, so I haven't had a chance to get online much. As a matter of fact, it is 2:00 AM, and this seems to be just about the only time I can get online. Oh, I know, I could insist that one of them let me have a computer, or I could get on the old desktop, but I am just happy to have them staying with me.

Lets see, Wednesday we drove home from Topeka. Thursday we pretty much didn't do anything, Friday we took a picnic lunch and went to GC to the zoo, Saturday we met my older sister and her husband (and a niece) for supper at Golden Corral in GC. Sunday we went to hubby's family reunion in Shamrock, TX. Today it was back to GC to Wally World and the movies. Youngest g-daughter and I went to see 'Judy Moody and the not Bummer Summer'. Older 2 went to see the latest 'Pirates of the Caribbean' movie. I suppose that if you are an 8 year old girl, Judy Moody would be awesome, but I thought it left a lot to be desired. However, the company was beyond wonderful and I pretended to like it as much as she did. After we got home i grilled up some burgers and franks, tater salad and baked beans. Yummo. Tomorrow it is out to Scott Lake to swim and spend the day in the sun. Daughter will be here some time later this week to pick up youngest g-daughter. I get to keep the other two for a while longer.

I will be going to the Orthopedic Surgeon on the 22nd to see about my knee. I sure hope I can get it fixed. I am tired of it hurting all the time.

Nothing else going on here. If I go missing for a while, you now know it is because playing with my g-kids is so much more fun than blogging.

God bless!

Lazy Days

2011-06-02T12:13:00.000-05:00

Summer. I love it, and usually am out in the hot sun doing things, but right now I am more inclined to just sit in my chair and..sleep mostly. I know that if I told the doctor this, he'd most likely say I am depressed. And maybe I am just a little. No job. No reason to get up. No energy. I am facing surgery on my knee. Live is miserable. So I sit and sit and sleep and sit and nap. Not a healthy pattern emerging here. I have been working on getting my laundry done and put away; no small task, either. I am not sure how long its been since I actually had the laundry all done and put away. I know, I am terrible. I hate housework in any form, and therefore I don't choose to do it often. God blessed me with a man who is 1/2 slob, so he never notices if I clean or not. For 40 years, I've been this way, and I can't see me changing any time soon. I will be so glad when I find out about my stupid knee. It's not that it hurts to walk or anything. But it has an annoying ache, and an occasional sharp pain, but mostly it's when I kneel, and that humongous knot on it. Ugh. Sigh.If I am up on my feet for very long at a time, or am up and down, it swells some, too. I go to my GP on Friday, then I figure he will send me to an orthopedic dr. My grandkids want to come see me and stay for a while. If I have surgery that won't be a bad thing.

Well, enough of my whining. I am sure you didn't come here to read that sort of crap. Not eating right lately either. LIfe is a bummer right now, and I think hubby just drove up. Must of decided to come home for lunch. TTFN

Still Here, but Ready

2011-05-22T20:55:00.001-05:00

As are the rest of you. Yes, the predicted Rapture didn't happen yesterday. Of course, I didn't really expect it to, but, since we don't know when it will happen, it could have. There was a lot of comments, both positive and negative, being bantered about on facebook and Twitter. Now Christians must, once again, do some 'damage control'. But I believe that this gives us a great opportunity to witness. When someone says something about the end of the world not coming, then we have the opportunity to speak with them about Jesus, and what the Bible says about the end times.

It saddened me that anyone even believed what Mr. Camping had to say. That seemed odd to me because this is not the first time he has predicted the end of the world. Of course, we know that there are many things that need to happen before the end comes. The Bible tells us we need to watch for the signs and be ready. But it also tells us we won't know the exact time and that it will take us by surprise. We do, however, need to be ready.

Are you ready? What does it mean to be ready? Well, first of all you need to look at your relationship with God. Unless you have a relationship with God, through Jesus, then you are definitely not ready. Having this relationship is not hard, it's really as easy as ABC

A: Admit to God that your are a sinner. Romans 3:23

B: Believe in Jesus as God's only Son. Acts 16:31

C: Confess your faith in the Lord above and ask Him to fill you up with His love. Romans 10:9

There it is. Easy. Nothing else, just faith, is required of you. Then what, you ask? Then comes Baptism, a public showing of your faith in Jesus. No, Baptism does not save you Then find a true believer to mentor you. Join a Bible believing church and go to work for Christ. Telling others what God has done for you.

Remember, it is a matter of choice. Everyone has to make the choice at some time in their life. They either choose to believe, in which case they will spend eternity in Heaven. OR they choose not to believe, in which case they will spend eternity in Hell. God's desire is for everyone to believe. However, He is not going to force His will on anyone. So you see, God never sent anyone to Hell. Everyone who spends eternity there, does so by their own choice. No one, and I mean NO ONE, can ever be good enough to get to Heaven on their own. At the same time, no one will ever be 'bad enough' to go to Hell. There are many otherwise good people who have rejected Jesus, and THAT is the only reason anyone ever goes to Hell.

I am ready. If the Rapture had occurred, I wouldn't be here. At the same time, I am happy it didn't because to many of those I love have not made the decision for Jesus, yet.

Not Too Old to Rock, part 2

2011-05-17T22:42:00.000-05:00

After getting autographs, g-daughter and I had some more 'fair food'; shudder. We sat on a blanket on the ground and 'people watched' for a while. There were certainly all kinds there. From little kids {not a cool place for them, if you ask me, but no one asked me} to elderly. I saw one guy who must have been in his 80's. Just a normal looking old guy. Families, cowboys, bikers, students, coeds-gone-wild, stoners, soldiers and teeny boppers were all well represented. Some friends of g-daughters showed up and we followed them into the crowd. I had no idea that we were heading into a mosh-pit. Actually, I think it was just a crowd that got a little out of hand. It's like there were 55,000 people who all wanted to stand in the same place (which happened to be on my feet). The crowd was thick, smashed up against one another, pushing one way, then another. It was wild! I sort of hyper-ventilated and almost passed out. Next thing I know, some guy picks me up and I am crowd surfing; the idea was to get me out of the crowd, but it didn't work, so this same guy grabs my arm and starts pushing people out of the way, plus my grand-daughter was pushing people out of the way, too. They got me out where I could breath and sit down. Then he took me to the medic tent, just to make sure I was okay. He was a very nice young man, and I appreciated him helping me. But I hated that it happened, made me feel pretty 'old', even though there were several people who were having the same problem, and most of them were quite young. One of g-daughter's friends, a very nice young man, also made sure our bag with 'stuff' in it was safe; and later came to check on me, as did the security officer who help me get to the first aid tent. The only bad part was that g-daughter and I got separated again, and she couldn't find me for a few minutes. Although I stayed at the first aid tent until she found me. She found me a good place to just sit, and went off to find her friend with the bag, which she did. After that we walked around for a bit more and she ran into another friend, her boyfriend and her boyfriends mother. The mother was wanting to sit down for a while, so she and I sat while the kids went off the experience the final band, Disturbed. After the concert, it was a while to even be able to leave the park, but we finally got to our car and was able to leave. Thank goodness for GPS!! Even still, we wondered around in circles for a few minutes, thanks to road construction. We made it out of Kansas City and stopped at the first McDonalds we came to. It was full of others who had been to RockFest. LOL. I guess we all had the same idea!
We made it home around 2:30 am.

All in all, it was a wonderful, fun filled day. It isn't something I'd ever want to do again, but I am glad I went. Life is made for living and live we did.

Not Too Old to Rock

2011-05-16T10:31:00.000-05:00

I had a great weekend with my oldest grand daughter, and discovered that I can still 'rock', just need to do it slowly. :)

What started as an off the cuff comment on 16 year old g-daughter's facebook page became an experience.
My grand daughter wrote on her facebook page: 'momma just got me a ticket to rock fest then my ride said never mind to me...so if anyone is going to rock fest and loves me plz take me too...cryz'
I commented: If I were there I'd take you. Wait, you probably wouldn't want to go with your Grandma!
She wrote: yes i would plz come i use my own money this time it next saturday grammy it would mean the word to me.
She also texted me: It could be your Mother's Day present. Please, please...we would have fun!
How could I possibly say 'no' to that. Actually, I have trouble ever saying 'no' to her. Anyway, that is how I ended up at 98.8 ROCKFEST 2011.

We did have an awesome time. I drove to Topeka on Friday afternoon; arriving about 8:30. Saturday, we were up at 7:00 to get ready and make the drive to Kansas City and ROCKFEST 2011. (which started at noon). The drive took around an hour. Once again, I am so very happy that we bought a GPS. It sure makes driving in the city easier. We arrived, found a place to park (for only $10 for the day), and headed the 5 or so block to the end of the line. I have stood in lots of lines for many different things over the years and I have to say that this line was friendly, just a little rowdy, but everyone was wanting to have a good time. Of course some of the people had started partying WAY too early and were already on their way to passing out.
We finally made it into the concert and headed straight for the bathrooms. One thing's for sure, they had ample bathrooms. Porta Potties for as far as the eye could see! No one had to stand in line for a long time for the john. Kudos to the ROCK for that! I entertained some folks by taking pictures of the potties, but, hey, why not! Then we had a couple of hours to kill before the concert actually began, but there were plenty of booths to browse, and people to watch. Grand daughter was so excited. She rattled the whole drive over. Telling me all about all the bands; which ones were the best and who she really, really wanted to see.
The first band to play was a local group called Evelyn Awake. Neither of us really cared for them, I told her that Evelyn should have stayed asleep. So we made our way to the other stage and had a really good spot, that is until some tall dude got in front of us. It didn't bother me, but g-daughter is short. I asked to guy if we could get in front of him, and he was nice enough to let us. (he said he knew that he blocked people's view) Then some guy told her that he could get her up closer and picked her up. Next thing we know, she is being 'surfed' across the crowd; with me pushing through yelling "I gotta stay with her!" She ended up with the Security guys taking her and sending her out of the crowd. Well, they then had to lift me over the fence so I could go find her. THANK GOD FOR CELL PHONES!! After about 20 minutes, we reconnected, but were not too happy that we lost our good spot, and we missed the opening of the concert (a Hendrix-style rendition of the Star Spangled Banner and the Marine Color guard) We heard it of course, but didn't get to 'see' it. We watched the band on the MegaTron screen for a bit, then wandered over to find some food. Food at a rock concert is like food at a fair; nasty, calorie laden, grease soaked, and expensive. But it was food, and I think we burned up all those empty calories and carbs. We walked and talked and laughed and people watched and had a great time. My grand -daughter thought it was cool how guys, usually mid-twentys to early thirtys, would come up to me and befriend me (whether I wanted them to or not). She called them my 'boyfriends'. When they found out I was her grandmother, they were amazed! The most common comment we heard was "My grandma wouldn't come to a rock concert! You are SO COOL!" It was a hoot. I'd just smile and say inane things like "I'm just a middle aged hippie" or "I was rockin' before you were ever born." One guy gave me a t-shirt he'd just bought because I was so cool. Another offered me a hit on a joint, which might have been scary if it hadn't been so funny. There was a lot of pot-smoking going on. But it was a rock concert, and was to be expected I suppose. For the most part, however, the cops were keeping a close eye on things. Personally, I don't think smoking pot is any worse than drinking, but that is the subject for a different blog. Grand-daughter's favorite band, Hinder, was playing. We found a good spot in front of the MegaTron screen (was impossible to get close enough to the stage to actually see them), and listened to about 3 songs. She commented that she would love to have their autographs. I told her about the autograph booth, so we headed over there to see when Hinder would be and what it would take to get their autograph. It was about 2:45 and this band would be there from 4 - 4:30. The line was long, so we figured we'd better get in line and hopefully we'd get to the front in time. And that is what we did. What a fun group of people we stood in line with. The autograph line was located between the stage and vendor tents and the bathrooms. This meant that people were constantly cutting through the line to get to the potties. It became a game to see how close we could stand together so no one could get through. I laughed so much! We did get to the line for the autographs. So grand-daughter was in heaven to get the band's autographs and some snapshots of them.

I want to say that my grand-daughter is a wonderful young lady. I admit that she has her share of issues and problems, like most 16 year olds, but she is a good kid. I was a little afraid that we'd get there, she'd meet up with her friends and that would be the last I saw of her, leaving me on my own at an unfamiliar and uncomfortable place. She didn't. She was very caring that I had a good time, never complained or questioned if I needed to sit for a little while. It was wonderful. We had a great time and enjoyed each other's company. THAT was a blessing to me.

I will post more about my RockFest experience, but I think you've had enough for one day.

Unemployment Day 4

2011-05-05T22:13:00.000-05:00

Today was a beautiful day. I got up early and had coffee with hubby before he went to work. Afterhe left for work I did some Bible reading. Then I had breakfast of 2 eggs, 2 sausages and 1 piece of toast. After breakfast, Chico and I went for a walk to the park. Guess what I found laying in the grass? Yep, my cell phone. I didn't figure that I could take the new one back, but thought I'd ask anyway. I was right. So now I have a new one and my red one. I really loved my red phone and want it back, however, I can't do anything until I get the rebate on the new one. Then, I will decide if I am going to keep it or give it to my daughter. But I was REALLY happy to get my micro-card back. Now I at least have my pictures and ringtones back. After our walk and visit to Verizon, I did some laundry. Which means I made several trips down stairs. I also worked on the music for VBS. One thing about VBS music, it is usually a pretty good workout. :) I'd say that I got plenty of exercise today. For lunch I heated up a chicken pot pie. More laundry, then some time on the computer. For supper I made enchiladas in honor of Cinco de Mayo. Then spent the evening watching television with the worlds greatest hubby. It was a beautiful day and I thank the Lord for giving it to us.

Good night and God bless!

Unemployment Day 3

2011-05-04T21:27:00.000-05:00

Today I made it out of bed at 7:00. I got dressed, had coffee,watched Good morning America with hubby until he left for work. Then I turned to television off because daytime tv is the pits. I made the bed and picked up some in the bedroom then had breakfast of 1 piece of French Toast with Sugar Free Syrup. Then Chico and I sat in the recliner and I messed around on facebook some and played a couple of games of solitaire before we fell asleep. Woke up in time to eat lunch then studied the lesson at Bible Study at church tonight. Then Chico and I took another nap. There seems to be a theme going there. I did spend some time on the computer job hunting and applied for one job in Garden City. I'd rather not have to drive the 35+ miles to work every day unless the pay is really good. But I am looking anyway.
I fixed Stoffers lasagna and a salad for supper then went to Bible Study. All in all it was a nice quiet day, and I didn't lose anything. :)

God bless and good night.

unemployment - day 2

2011-05-03T19:11:00.000-05:00

My intention was to get up at regular time and clean house, but it felt so nice and warm in the bed that I just snuggled down with the ca and dog and went back to sleep until the phone rang at 10:00. I decided that it would be good to take a walk with Chico to the park for a bit. I gathered up his harness and leash and my cell phone and headed the 1 mile to the park. It was a really nice walk there, and then I sat on a bench while Chico sat under the bench. After about 15 or 20 minutes we headed back home. It had gotten warm so I decided to take off the light jacket I had on. It occurred to me that I probably needed to take the cell phone out of the jacket pocket before it fell out. Only the cell phone wasn't in the jacket pocket; or any other pocket. I retraced my steps, to no avail. After returning home, I drove the truck back to the park, still no phone. I was very sad to have lost this phone. I loved it. It was my favorite phone I've ever had; and it was red. :( So I went to the Verizon office and got a new phone. This took a while, as we had to call Joe because the account is in his name, and the account was blocked for some reason. What a pain. Then I spent the rest of the afternoon working on my bankbook and paying bills. That is never a fun chore. At 4:30 I took Chico to the vet to have his stitches removed. For supper I cooked a meatloaf, corn and mashed potatoes with a slice of garlic bread. It was very good. The stress of today gave me a migraine headache. I am hoping that tomorrow is a better day.

I am lost

2011-05-02T13:34:00.000-05:00

in the fog today. It has happened again. I have lost another job. So I am very down in the dumps today. I am waffling between cleaning house and sitting here at the computer wasting time. I cannot believe this has happened. I think maybe this was my 'rebound job'. There are not many jobs around that I feel I am qualified for. Today i wonder if I am qualified for ANY job. But that is the sadness talking. I will be okay, it just will take time to adjust. Our saving are still drained from my losing my job in August. I am not sure how we will manage, but we will. We always have, and when necessary, I can be very resourceful. I just don't like having to be quite that resourceful.

Hoping that your week has started off better than mine! :)

A City Weeps

2011-04-25T08:35:00.000-05:00

Friday, April 22 started much the same as any other Friday. It was Good Friday, and also Earth Day. Work was going slow, but that was to be expected. Dylon Spencer stopped by the office before he and his family got in the small plane to fly to Topeka to spend Easter with his wife's family. None of us expected the tragedy that was to come.

We received the news at about 2:00 Friday afternoon. The twin engine Beechcraft flown by Spencer had gone down in a field just north of Topeka killing all four passengers.

Dylon, 35, was a county commissioner, a young leader in this small farming community. He was a business owner, a devoted Christian and family man. His wife, Amy was a special education teacher. Their two daughters, aged 5 and 7, were delightful young ladies.

Dylon was best friends with one of my bosses and was always dropping in to the office to visit. I have known him most of the 10 years I've lived here as a competitor in the pest control business where I used to work. He and I always kidded around about that. I believe he was the person responsible for my getting the job I now have.

I think it is fitting that today it is raining as this small farming community in Southwest Kansas weeps over the loss of this young family.

A memorial to this young family has been put on You Tube at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fiXQT37Y0sc&feature=player_embedded

Please pray for the Spencer's family and friends, and for Scott City.

The world in which we live

2011-04-16T14:38:00.000-05:00

I am sad and mad and ...words fail me. Yesterday I read a story in the Lubbock paper about a man who killed his two young sons and texted pictures of what he did to their mother. Is that sick, or what? This didn't happen in New York City or Los Angeles, it didn't even happen in Lubbock. NO, this happened in two small towns. The dad had picked up his children and went to Graham, TX. The mother was in Sudan, TX. These are two very small towns.of about 2000 or less. I grew up in Sudan. I have an ex-son-in-law who lives in Graham. Maybe that is why this story upset me so; it hits a little closer to home. I don't know. I just know that there are some really sick people in the world in which we live.

I didn't get the job I interviewed for, but that's okay. I am happy that I do have a job, even if I'd eventually like a better one. My knee is doing better, at least it was until the wind blew the pickup door against it yesterday. I didn't know if I wanted to scream or cry or cuss; I just know it HURT and is swollen slightly again this morning.

After two days of high winds, we are having a calm day. We had fences blow down on the North and South side of our yard, so we need to get out and fix them. We are lucky that is the only damage we had. Many people have had roof damage also.

Yesterday was Chico's first birthday. He is such a good dog (most of the time) and I really enjoy his company. Maxine and him have become he best of friends. I still laugh when she is outside and he goes out an barks and she comes running. I've never seen a dog call a cat before. They are so funny together.

God bless and have a wonderful weekend.

This 'n That

2011-04-11T21:25:00.000-05:00

I know I haven't blogged in a while. We went to see the kids over the weekend. I do so wish we could move closer to them. maybe someday I will convince the big guy that is what we need to do.
Took the oldest g-daughter shopping for a prom dress. We had a lot of fun, and found a wonderful dress that was the perfect color and looks so good on her

Isn't she beautiful. Her mom had the perfect shoes, and I had earrings that matched, so she is set. I made her promise to send me pictures next week from Prom.

Youngest g-daughter spent all Saturday and Saturday night at a birthday party. I can't imagine taking 8 eight year old girls to a motel swimming from noon Sat to noon Sun. Glad I'm past that ! LOL

Daughter has been released to go back to work. Her (former) employer told her that she had to quit school in order to go back to work, even though she could work around her schedule, and since she refused to quit school, they fired her. I can't see how that is right, but she did talk to her lawyer about it. She is looking for another job. She doesn't think she will have any trouble finding one. I hope not.

I have a job interview at the SC Treasurer's office tomorrow morning. The starting pay is less than where I am now, but I think the working conditions will be better, and right now I'm not always getting a 40 hour week. We will see how the interview goes tomorrow. Of course I don't have to take the job, even if they offer it to me.

I am so enjoying the nicer weather. Of course the wind has been blowing, but I DO live in Kansas.

And that is life in my world. I hope things are good in your world.

Ouch!

2011-04-02T20:53:00.000-05:00

Well, my Mama always called me Grace.

There I was walking along, enjoying spending time with Hubby and going to a few Garage Sales when the next thing I knew, I was kissing the sidewalk. I have no idea why I fell, I suppose I tripped over something. Anyway I went down on my right knee. That was about 11:30 this a.m.

It swelled, but I was able to move it. I took some ibuprofen and that helped a little. After we got home I took a pain pill and put some ice on it.
Now the swelling is down some, but it SURE IS SORE! I am hoping I can even use it tomorrow.

This is what it looks like now at 9:00 p.m.
It is turning black and blue around the edges.
Think I'll go take some more pain pills (left over from when I broke my arm) and head for bed.

Settling in at 170

2011-03-31T22:10:00.000-05:00

I have maintianed 50 of the 65 pounds I lost for over a year now. I was visiting with my doctor about not being able to lose those last 20 pounds, and his comment was that all my numbers (cholesteral, blood sugar, etc) were so good that he felt my body is telling me that 170 is what it needs to weigh. That puts my BMI at 25.8, which is at the low end of the Overweight catagory. I asked my doctor about that, and he said not to worry about it. I was healthy and looked good and THAT is all that is important. It made me feel good to know the doctor thinks I look good. :)

at 220 at 170...What do you think?

So I am going to keep doing what I am doing right now, and work on maintaining this beautiful me for a while.And if I happen to lose a little more, I won't complain about that either.

Happy Spring

2011-03-20T21:20:00.000-05:00

The nicest thing about the changing seasons is the reminder that we always get a chance to start over. Much like seeds in the ground, or perhaps more like bears in hibernation, we have laid dormant over the long winter, but with Spring comes new life. My weight loss is also getting new life. I vow today to once again become serious about reaching my goal. There are many reasons I need to lose these last 20 or so pounds, but the main one is for my health. So here is to a new day, a new goal, a new start. Stay tuned for details.

Slow & Steady vs Quick & Easy

2011-03-18T09:57:00.000-05:00

Which is better, slow and steady weight loss or quick and easy weight loss? If your goal is to lose 5 lbs by Friday (and it's Tuesday), then doing a quick and easy,albeit unhealthy, diet would be what you do. However, if you want longlasting, permenant, don't gain it all back next week, weight loss, then a slow and steady change in you eating habits is what you need to strive for. The thing is, and it is the reason so many of us yo-yo with our weight loss, is that fast weight loss is not permenant weight loss. Going on some 'fad diet' or even on a 'we'll sell you the food to eat' plan don't usually last because they are not changing your lifestyle. You aren't going to eat anything but packaged diet food or cabbage soup for the rest of your life. I have heard it said that if you cannot imagine you doing this six months from now, chances are you will gain back all you lost, plus some. That is why, no matter what sort of eating plan you decide is right for you, make sure it is one you can live with for the rest of your life. The goal is for the new eating style to become second nature to you. This IS possible, but remember, it takes time. And I don't just mean a couple of months, it can take years, but after a while you will notice that it is becoming easier; that you don't have to 'think' about it as much.

Of couse we'd all like the weight to fall off fast. And at first it might seem like it is. When I first started I lost 25 lbs the first two weeks, then it slowed down to about 5 lbs a week, now I am happy if I lose 5 lbs a month! I think I will probably always struggle with these last 20 lbs. I will probably lose and gain them several times over the next several years. I can live with that. I do know, and need to remember, that it is ALWAYS easier to gain it than it is to lose it. So, even when I am not trying to lose, I have to remember to maintain.

Today I weighed 168.4. I am hoping this means that I have made it into the 160's to stay, that is until I hit the 150's.

Hoping you have a great weekend!

Imagine it

2011-03-16T13:08:00.000-05:00

I am reading a book by Dean Koontz called By the Light of the Moon. It is a little weird, because Deen Koontz writes weird books. He is a master of the macabre, right up there with Steven King and Edgar Alen Poe.   Anyway, the two main characters of this book are having a discussion about being made in God's image. One fellow is saying how, if we are indeed made in God's image and God imagined the world into existance, then we should be able to imagine our future into existance on a much smaller scale of course.   His theory is, that while we cannot create something out of nothing, we can create something out of something; therefore we should be able to imagine our future, and with hard work and determination make that imagined future come to be.   What he is saying does have some merit. While he is not saying "name it and claim it", he is saying that if we imagine something we want, and we do everything we can to make that happen, then more likely than not, it will come to fruitation. If, for example, when I was 18 I had imagined myself a successful doctor, and I had worked hard and gone to medical school and applied myself, then I would probably be a successful doctor at this point in my life.    If on the other hand, I had imagined myself a world-famous journalist, yet did not go to college, or ever write even one newspaper article, the chances of this imagining coming true would be less than zero.   See what I'm getting at.     Of course the person with whom this character is having the conversation doesn't seem to grasp this, therefore an argument ensues.

This got me to thinking about my life, and how I have never really imagined what it would be. There was no 'when I grow up I want to be a _____' that I can remember, and I never applied myself toward any one goal. As teachers were want to say, I "never lived up to my potential".   Does that mean that I am not living the life that God wants me to live?   No, I don't think so.   I honestly believe that I am where God intends for me to be.   Does it mean that there could, possibly, have been an alternate path to arrive at this point in my life? Possibly.    One think I do believe is that while God directs our paths and has certain plans for our lives, we are the architect of our own destinies.    We are not puppets on a string. There are times when we thwart the plans God has for us.

Is it ever too late to start? I suppose that as long as you draw breath, you have a chance to improve yourself. Isn't that what the discussion really about; improving yourself? Of course, there are times when, no matter how hard you imagine something, or how much you work at it, there is just no way you can make it happen. Suppose you are 75 years old and have inoperable stage four cancer, then, even if you do imagine yourself cancer free and living to 100, and you have every treatment known to man, chances are you are going to die soon.   However, how do you know if you don't try?   That in itself is the key, wouldn't you say?   How many times in your life have you given up on something simply because it seemed hopeless? We need to adopt a 'nothing ventured nothing gained' attitude. We may not reach the imagined goal, but we are better off for the trying.

I weighed 171 this morning. I seem to have stalled in my efforts to lose this last 20 lbs. Someone told me once that if I wanted to weight 150, I should eat like someone who weighs 150.   That makes me think back to my 'skinny' days, when I tipped the scales at 100 and was a thin as a rail. If I ate like I did back in those days, I'd weigh over 200 lbs. Matter of fact, eating like I had always eaten is what got me to the 220 lbs I weighed when I started on this life journey.    So much for that theory. No, what I need to do is imagine myself at 150, then do everything I know to do to reach and maintain that weight.   This is what I have NOT done. Oh, I know all the things I need to do. So do you.   But I have not been motivated lately to do them.   Ah, there is the flux: Motivation. If one is not properly motivated, then they are not going to get to the imagining stage, much less the working towards it stage, or the realizing the dream stage.

Now the question becomes, 'what motivates you(me)?' When I first started this life journey, my motivation was to save myself from having to have premature knee surgery. And losing 50 - 60 lbs has helped them a lot. But now, I have lost some of the 'umpfh' of my resolution. So I am in need of new motivation. Anyone have any spare laying around? No, huh.   Until I am properly motivated, I will continue to bounce around at the 170 stage. I will, soon or later discover the motivation I need. Perhaps seeking motivation is my motivation. (confused yet? Me, too)   Before it gets too deeply confusing, I suppose I'd better stop.

So, in the immortal words of Red Skelton, I bid you goodnight and God bless.

Gotta Go, Gotta Go, Gotta Go, Go, Go....

2011-03-11T14:40:00.000-06:00

I'm sure you've seen the commercials for the OAB medications. The women who can't enjoy life because they are always going...and going...and going. That was my life before I got on meds. Today, as I was perusing the web (at work and I shouldn't have been, I need to do SOMETHING to pass the time on slow Fridays) I ran across this slideshow/article: http://www.rxlist.com/urinary_incontinence_slideshow/article.htm

Most of what it talks about I already knew. There were some new things there, also. For instance, I thought that I had to rush to the bathroom during the afternoon was because I usually dring a Diet Coke at lunch, which has caffeine. Now I learn that it is because of the caffeine, carbination AND artificial sweetner; TRIPLE WHAMMY!!

I also discovered that I drink too much water/liquid a day. I have cut WAY down on my caffeine intake, however. I didn't suffer from caffeine withdrawel headaches, either. I also have cut way down on the alcohol I drink (which wasn't much anyway!) I do enjoy the occasional glass of wine or can of beer.

For years I have had people tell me that I should drink cranberry juice. I never have liked cranberry juice and now I have the perfect comeback. I can't drink it because of my OAB.

Spicy food?? MAN! I just love me some spicy foods, especially of the Tex/Mex variety. I also have used spicy Salsa as a dietary aid; you eat less if the food has LOTS of spicy flavor. This is something I will certainly have to test and see if it effects my OAB.

I do like that they talk about a balanced aproach. As with all things involving eating/drinking, a balanced aproach is better. You really do need to decide if it is worth it to eat/drink something that upsets your OAB.

And if you haven't discussed your OAB with your doctor, be sure to bring it up next time you have your physical. I am really glad I did.

Update on my Mom

2011-03-10T22:32:00.000-06:00

Mother had her surgery Wednesday morning as scheduled. I guess eating chips and drinking Gatoraide worked. Hubby and I will drive to Texas on Friday night and spend the weekend. It will be good to see Mother and Daddy. I hope you all have a good weekend.

What a day!

2011-03-08T19:01:00.000-06:00

Won't even say what the scale read this morning. It wasn't pretty. Result of weekend of carb-loading. Alas, back to step 1.

Started snowing sometimes during the night. This is what I woke to:

and it snowed all day long.

While it was a nice wet snow, and we really do need the moisture here in drought stricken SW Kansas, I was greatly dismayed because my Mom's surgery had been rescheduled for tomorrow morning and I was planning on heading to Texas as soon as I got off work. After spending the morning monitoring Kansas, Oklahoma, and Texas road conditions, I determined by noon that it would probably be best if I did not try to make that trip by myself tonight. So, the planned trip to Texas was cancelled. I was saddened at not being able to be there during Mother's surgery. (like my presence would make it go better)

Later, my sister posted on facebook that the surgery may be rescheduled--AGAIN! Her UTI had cleared up, but her sodium level was very low, too low to do surgery. This is what my sister wrote:

OK prayer warriors I have an urgent request for you. Mother had her preadmit lab work this morning. About thirty minuets ago the Dr office called--the urine is clear, but very low on sodium. The sodium is low enough that they may not be able to do the surgery. Will redo lab work in the morning. In the mean time she is to stop drinking water, drink Gatoraid and eat saltines and chips. We need you prayers that we can go ahead with this surgery tomorrow. The stress of delaying would just be too much.

My thoughts are that God not only provided us some much needed moisture, but kept me from making another needless trip to Texas. Not that seeing my family isn't always a pleasure, but I can not afford to miss much more work. Thank you , Lord for taking care of all the things that are unseen to us, but known to you.

Where did the time go?

2011-03-05T15:24:00.000-06:00

I did not realize that I had not posted since Feb. 22. Geeze. I got busy, and blinked and time had flown by. I am still at about 169.8/170.6 range. I know I can get below that, but I have to try harder and add exercise, especially walking in.

What has kept me so busy? Daughter and Mom. Daughter had surgery on her shoulder (finally). She is doing very well and is in PT for 6 weeks, then we are hoping she will get released to go back to work. It has been a very LONG year since she got hurt on the job. Living on 80% of minimum wage has not been easy. It has been ridiculous, actually, so we have done all we can to help her out. She is still fighting for custody of her youngest daughter. Pity that the dad doesn't want his older two kids, just the little ones. Mom was supposed to have surgery on Feb. 28th, but had an UTI, so they postponed it until March 9th. I've been going between home and Topeka and Amarillo, TX. Putting lots of miles, taking lots of days off, and spending a lot in gasoline. Will go back to Amarillo on Tuesday evening, and home on Friday or Saturday. I am so glad I have an understanding husband who lets me make these trips by myself. I have been managing to stay pretty much on my eating plan, not always easy when doing that much traveling.

Get it where you can

2011-02-22T21:42:00.000-06:00

today's weight 169.8 (woo-hoo)

I was talking about COMFORT. How it is a basic human need. We all need comfort, but when we don't (or won't) get it from fellow human's, we turn to other things such as food. What we need to do is reprogram ourselves to find comfort in less unhealthy things. But this is easier said than done. First of all, you need to find an activity that gives you comfort, that can be done anytime, anywhere. That won't be easy. I read. It doesn't always work, but it can be done almost anywhere and anytime. However, there are times I still need to find comfort in food. So, I try to eat something healthier than cookies or chocolate candy bars. Fruit will satisfy the sweet tooth, if you crave salty, well that is a different problem. Popcorn, if you don't dowse it in butter, and if you don't eat too much, can be a healthier choice than potato chips of French Fries. Of course, there is much to be said for 'moderation in all things'. In other words, sometimes it is okay to eat what you love, as long as you do it in moderation. If you continually deny yourself the foods that you love, then you will never stay on your diet regime.

Good luck to you.

Up this road and then, Down this road again...

2011-02-17T08:15:00.000-06:00

It's a long road....but you jut got to keep on keepin' on.

Weight today: 174.4 Which is down a couple of pounds, again. I will be glad when I get past this current road block. Of course, I know that all the stress going on with my Mom and my Daughter both having surgery and being so far away from both of them (in opposite directions, no less) has wrecked havoc on my eating. Although, I AM trying to be good, there are times that I mindlessly eat my emotions. That is such a hard habit to break. I think because we develop that habit without even realizing it at a very early age. Infancy, as a matter of fact. I mean, look at it, when you are a baby, you cry and Mommy gives you a bottle. You may not be upset because you are hungry, but she has no way to know that. We celebrate with food. It's a natural way to do things. There are whole networks on television dedicated to FOOD. We don't know any other way to handle extreme emotions....whether good or bad. The alternative seems to be alcohol or drugs, which is a lousy alternative. Of course there are healthier alternatives, such as prayer or meditiation, and exercise. Taking a ong walk when you are upset is good, but you (read: me) end up eating anyway. It doesn't make your problems go away, but it is a COMFORT.

That my friends is the root of most weight problems. COMFORT. It is a basic human need, and too many people don't get the comfort they need from those they love, or they aren't there when they need comforting, so they turn to something else, FOOD. Unlike tobbacco, alocohol or drugs, food is 'safe'. You won't get pulled over by the cops if you've eaten too many Whoppers. It's not illegal to buy a pound of fudge. Companies will even deliver it to your house, so you don't even have to get out. We even call some things Comfort Foods.
This isn't a need that will go away, no matter how many seminars you attend, or books you read, or counseling sessions you go to. As long as you are a human, you need the security of COMFORT.

So, now we know what to call the problem, we still don't know how to handle it. Well, one thing to do is to retrain our brains (not easy or fun) to accept something new as comfort. But it has to be something that really does COMFORT you. Did I ever tell you that I started smoking to quit biting my finger nails. When I quit smoking, I replaced cigarettes with chocolate candy bars. So what do I replace food with?

to be continued....

I must have been REALLY tired....

2011-02-15T09:40:00.000-06:00

weight 2/15/11 172.5 :)

Yesterday at lunch, I had a headache, so I went to the house and took a nap. Then, last night, hubby left to go our of town to a HAS MAT school, so I get to spend Valentine's Day alone. (no biggie) I was just freezing cold and couldn't get warm, so after a small bowl of soup, I decided that I'd turn on the electric blanket and lay down and read until I fell asleep. That was about 7:30, by 8:00 I was sound asleep and slept all night, 10 hours straight. I got up this morning with a terrible head and chest cold. So, today I feel a little less than 100%, but I did take some cold meds and am feeling a bit better, although I do occasionally have a deep coughing spell. I sure hope I get over this before I head back to Amarillo for Mother's surgery.
Daughter is doing well after her shoulder surgery. She has some pain, as expected, but seems to be healing, and the PT is helping. She will have to wear a sling for weeks, then the dr. will see if she can go back to work.

I didn't do too bad keeping on my eating plan over the weekend. It really isn't hard to do, it's the mindless munching that gets me into trouble. We will see how I do with this dang cold. It is hard to eat right when nothing tastes good.....

I hope you all had a wonderful Valentine' Day.

Really???

2011-02-09T16:29:00.000-06:00

Weight this morning 176! Ouch. I can't understand why I am not losing the way I should be while on 'induction'. Maybe the low carb isn't going to work for me this time, that or I am not counting something right. So, back to the drawing board, so to speak.

I know I haven't posted in a few days, but have been pretty busy/stressed, and not over my weight either. My mother is having major problems with her back. As a matter of fact, she can barely get around because of the pain. She is scheduled for surgery on the 25th of February. The surgeon wanted her to get clearance from both her primary physician and a cardiologist because of her age, she is 82. The primary doctor released her for surgery, but the cardiologist hasn't. She has some blockage and an irregular heart beat. She is scheduled for a heart cath on the 15th. All of this is quite stressful on all of us. My daddy is not in the best of health and the stress of mother being so bad is about to get him down. We went to see them over the weekend, which was nice, but it is hard to see your parents like this. You would think that would be enough stress for most people, but my daughter, bless her, is STILL not released to work yet. She had surgery on her shoulder today. We are praying that she will be released to work in about 2 to 3 weeks. She still hasn't got the custody settled, and she is waiting to go to court on the guy who rammed her car. If/when that ever get settled, then the finances should get a little better. Until then, we are helping her out as much as we can. My hours are being cut back for a while, it just isn't busy at work, and it doesn't make any sense to pay me to sit and do nothing for 2 to 3 hours every day. I know that God is in control, and it will all work out for the very best. Sometimes I wonder if He has been bragging on me again. (and if you don't know what I mean, read the book of Job in the Bible.) I didn't mean for this to be a whine-fest. Life is wonderful, God is GOOD and I have JOY IN MY HEART!

Everyone falls down, the key is to get back up again.

2011-01-29T21:30:00.000-06:00

Day 10 Weight: 172.2 I didn't track what I ate, but I know my numbers were WAY high
Day 11 Didn't weigh today. Didn't track my food either, but the donut at 3:00 put everything over the top, I'm sure.
Day 12 Weight 172.2 (amazing) Calories 1645; Carbs 11.1

But, you what, I don't feel bad or guilty about 2 days off the 'diet' or making bad choices. I will just do better tomorrow and other days until I fall again. The key to 'sticking it out' is to not get down on yourself if you trip and fall on your healthy eating plan. Even if you go a month or more before you 'get back to it'. One good piece of advice I have found is to have a 'top weight'. This is the weight that you will not allow yourself to get heavier than. For me it was 180 lbs. I had lost from 220 down to 160, then, although I had not reached my goal, I stopped eating the way I should and started gaining weight. I hit my 'top weight' and knew that I had to start over. Well, I'm 8 lbs down and will lose more. Oh, and for those of you who would rather use NSV for your weight-loss, I have a closet full of wonderful size 10 clothes that I WILL Get back into.

Adding variety

2011-01-26T22:34:00.000-06:00

Day 10 172.2; 1789 calories; 17.5 carbs Now the calories are high, but the carbs are good.

Instead of eating 3 large meals, you should eat 6 smaller meals. Well, this is good in theory. But I have trouble eating 3 meals in a day. Well, I guess I do eat 3 times a day, but it is usually it is lunch, supper and after dinner snack. I am trying to start eating breakfast, but I have never had good luck with that. I did eat breakfast today. So it is a start. I am 4 days from being finished with the starting phase, I will be glad when I can add a little more variety to my menu.

Here is a recipe for the next phase that adds variety and vegetables.

We love cabbage around here, and I am glad that it is a low carb vegetable. Here is one recipe that I have cooked for a long time, even before we knew what low carb was.
Fried Cabbage with Polish Sausage
Slice sausage into bite size pieces and fry in a large skillet in a little veg. oil with a chopped onion.
Shred one head of cabbage. Add to sausage and cook until cabbage is tender and slightly browned.

Serve with low carb tortilla.

Happy eating

Trying to keep the numbers up

2011-01-25T22:26:00.000-06:00

Day 9; weight 172.4; calories 896; carbs 13.5

It's a conundrum, I eat until I'm full, but for some reason I'm not eating enough! Now isn't that about the oddest thing for someone who is trying to lose weight? Most people struggle with eating too many calories, they can't get under their target amount. I know that this is going to go against me because my body is going to go into 'starvation mode' and will stop losing weight. So, I have a menu planned out for tomorrow which will have both my calories and carbs where they should be. I know that the best thing is going to be for me to plan what I will eat every day, that way I can keep my numbers where they should be.

Yesterday I talked about drinking water. Someone commented to me once that they drink cola and coffee all day, so they don't need to drink water. Well, while drinking any liquid is good, there are things in soda, coffee, fruit juice, etc. that aren't good for you. For one thing, caffeine is dehydrating. So you are sort of shooting yourself in the foot if you drink a lot of coffee or tea or soda. When you come right down to it, water is best, but any low sugar, no caffeine liquid will do, except not anything alcoholic. Alcohol, like caffeine, id dehydrating, so drinking a lot of beer isn't a good thing for a multitude of reasons. And that is all I have to say about that.

Water, water, water

2011-01-24T21:56:00.000-06:00

Day 8 Weight 173.4, calories 867; total carbs32.7

Still struggling with keeping my calories up and my carbs down, as you can see. Oh well, continuing on.

There are two things I encourage everyone who is starting a low carb diet to do. Drink as much water as you can. No matter what kind of diet you are starting, you need to drink lots and lots of water. If you are going to go low-carb, you also need to take a fiber supplement. You can use any type, pills, liquid, or powder, but use some sort of fiber. One of the drawbacks I've found to low-carb eating is not getting enough fiber. The fiber that I, personally use, is BeneFiber. It really is tasteless, and I like to either sprinkle it on food, or use it when I cook.

Here us a low-carb recipe idea for phase 2 or above. Craving pizza? Take a low carb wheat tortilla, spread with 1/2 cup Heinz pizza sauce, top with cooked hamburger and pepperoni and shredded mozzarella cheese. Cook in 350° over until hot and bubbly. Total carbs 20.

Have fun making healthy choices.

Taking a New Look at the Basics

2011-01-23T16:47:00.000-06:00

Day 7: Weight 173.2; calories 1071,total carbs: 24.5

In 2008, when I weighed 230 pounds, I knew that I needed to lose weight, and I needed to keep it off. If not, I was going to have to have knee replacement surgery soon. I didn't want that at 56 years old. I don't want it ever, to be truthful, but I know it will come some day. So I decided to go on a low carb diet. I looked at all the ones 'out there', I went with a modified sort of Atkin's diet. I say modified because I have tweeked it to fit our lifestyle. I know that there are those who say you cannot lose weight and eat out, but we eat out most of the time, and I knew that wasn't going to change anytime soon. Well, I lost 65 pounds, doing it my way. Then several things happened and I lost my momentum. I stopped making good food choices, and gained back 20 pounds. NO! That is totally unacceptable, so now I am going back to square one and have started over. I messed around with dieting for a couple of weeks, and that was no good. I knew what I needed to do. I needed to go back to the basics. I am now on Day 7, and have lost 5 pounds. I know that I need to add exercise to my daily regime, and that will come with time. I am half way through the 'induction' or starting phase.

I would advise anyone that before you start a low carb lifestyle, and that is what it needs to be, a lifestyle, that you read about the various low carb diets available. Find one that suits you, your tastes, and your way of life. Please, don't buy into the myths about eating low carb, - such as that there are no vegetables or fruit, that it can't be healthy, that it has to be boring, etc. Eating low carb is as healthy or unhealthy, balanced or unbalanced, boring or not boring as YOU make it. Like any other way of eating, it is all about the choices you make. I know that it works for me, when other diets have failed. Each person has to find what they can live with and what works for them.

About induction, or the starting phase. On almost all low carbs diets there is a starting phase that sort of kick-starts your weight loss. For 2 weeks (14 days) I limit my carbs to not over 30. (the Atkins diet says 20, but I found that to be too low for me). This gets your body to burning fat, rather than carbs. From there you go to the OWL (Ongoing Weight Loss). You are supposed to add 5 grams of carbs per week until you reach a level where you no longer lose weight. Then cut back to your maximum carb level for weightloss. This varies from person to person. I know, from experience, that I can go up to between 75 - 100 and still lose. Some of this depends on how much exercising I am getting. Phase 3, which I have never done, is Pre-Maintenance and is geared at preparing you for the Maintenance or final phase. This phase is living the low carb lifestyle for the rest of your life. It really isn't a hard plan to get on and stay on. At least not for me. You can also look at it as a 'don't eat anything white' diet. Of coarse, you have to be able to 'cheat' occasionally. Don't deny yourself your favorite foods forever, or you will never make it to your goal weight. Just be smart about it. It sin't a good idea to 'cheat' during the first phase. Surely you can do without _________, you fill in the blank, for 14 days. If not, you have bigger issues you need to work out before you will be able to lose weight, no matter the diet you choose.

So, I'm back at the start, and it is going good. It will never be easy to lose the weight. If it were easy, we would all be skinny-minnies. But it is so worth the effort. I WILL make my goal weight of 150 lbs., and I will keep it off. If I slip, I'll start over again. I figure gaining 20 pounds during a high stress time wasn't too bad. I've lost five of that, will lose the other 15 and the last 10 that I never lost before.

Good luck to all of my friends and co-losers. We are not alone in our quest for better eating habits.

I forgot how hard this is....

2011-01-22T21:48:00.000-06:00

Day 5 174.4; calories 838; carbs 42. :( too little calories, too many carbs
Day 6 didn't weigh; calories 1565; carbs 35.5 :( calories and carbs both too high.

Balancing carbs and calories is harder than it looks. You would think that cutting down on carbs would mean cutting down on calories, too. And in many ways it does. Sometimes, however, I find myself cutting TOO far down on calories when I cut down on the carbs. This is more of a problem during the first two weeks of starting the low carb diet. Today, I went way over on both my carbs and calories. However, this is showing total carbs. My NET carbs is some lower. Anyway, I will weigh in the morning and see how that is going. I am 1/2 way through the 2 week 'induction' or beginning phase. This is the most difficult phase, and I will be adding more vegetables and fruit. That will make it easier to balance caloric and carb intake. I did seem to have more energy today and got my house pretty well cleaned up. I haven't had a headache in a couple of weeks now. THAT is a big plus.

God bless

So far so good

2011-01-20T22:26:00.000-06:00

Day 1, weight 178.6; carbs 12.8; calories 617
Day 2, weight 178.4; carbs 13.3; calories 1023, walked 2 miles
Day 3, weight 175.4; carbs 29.1; calories 611 plus 81.9 carbs ;639 calories for a total of 111 carbs and 1251 calories. ok on calories, WAY too many carbs!
Day 4, weight 174.2; carbs 29.9; calories 1323, bowled 3 games.

Okay, I was paying much more attention to keeping my carbs under 30 that I forgot to watch my calories. I am so bad about that when I am first start on the induction phase of the low-carb diet. About 8:30 last night I was incredible hungry. It wasn't the evening, bored wanting to eat, it was bona fide hunger! So I ate cheese and crackers, which upped both my carb and calorie intake, but I am making a better effort to eat enough calories without going over on my carbs. I am going to try to keep my calories about 1000 - 1200 and my carbs under 30. But the weight is coming off. Which makes me very happy! Just 8 more days of induction, then I can increase the carbs to 75 - 100, adding fruits and veggies and keep the calories at around 1200. I know this works because this is how I lost 65 pounds.

Day 4 without a headache

2011-01-16T13:53:00.000-06:00

I never did figure out what was causing me to have the headaches, but I haven't had one since Tuesday. It could have been something in the air that the sub-zero temperatures took care of, but what ever it was, it seems to have passed and I am glad it did. Besides dealing with the headaches, I have been reading quite a bit lately, which is why I haven't blogged much lately. Actually, there just doesn't seem to be a lot to blog about. Daughter is doing okay, as well as she ever does *sigh*. My job seems to be going good. There isn't near as much going on as at my last job. Life is just going pretty darn good of late. Of course, with this cold snap, I haven't been making good food choices. Seems that cold weather increases my appetite and my carb cravings. The past few days, I can't seem to eat enough. It shows on the scale, for sure. So tomorrow morning, I will, once again, start over. Not only do I need to watch my food choices, but I also MUST get back to walking every evening. Right now, I feel determined to begin tomorrow, we will see what tomorrow brings. I am also going to make a better effort at blogging daily. I know that part of the reason I haven't been blogging as much is because I have been sleeping better. Which means that instead of blogging in the middle of the night because I can't sleep, I am sleeping. I do miss blogging, but am so glad to be getting good sleep for a change.

Anatomy of a headache

2011-01-04T19:38:00.000-06:00

For some, as yet unknown reason, I have been having a series of what I am calling mini-migraine headaches. They have not developed into a full blown, go to the dr. and get a shot, migraine, but they are annoying, non-the-less. I have been trying to figure out what is triggering them. Here is how it usually goes:
I wake up of a morning and feel just fine. I get dressed, brush my teeth and put on my make up. Its just about now that I begin to feel dizzy and the nausea hits. Not severe. I take my pills and have a cup of 1/2 & 1/2 or plain decaf. and head for work. About the time I get there, the pain starts so I take 2 Excedrin and have a cup of 'real' coffee. By lunch time, the headache is usually gone, or has let up enough that I don't notice it. These started the week after Christmas. I forgot my meds one morning, which is what I thought triggered the headache. The next day, I made certain to take the pills, but still had the headache. Then I thought maybe it was because I am really bad about skipping breakfast, so I have made sure I ate breakfast. Still no change. I have been watching what I eat before going to bed. Right now, I haven't seen any differences in anything I do. Of course, there is the chance that the headaches are being triggered by the arctic blast we have experienced of late. I am just glad they are not debilitating headaches. They will either stop of their own accord, I will figure it out, or will end up going to the dr.

So, how is you new year going?

Good quote

2011-01-03T21:22:00.001-06:00

‎"I may no longer depend on pleasant impulses to bring me before the Lord. I must rather respond to principles I know to be right, whether I feel them to be enjoyable or not." Jim Elliot (1927-1956), Christian missionary, martyr

Welcome to 2011

2011-01-01T16:25:00.000-06:00

I started the year at 175 lbs. I don't have any idea what I weighed a year ago. Less, I think, but since I deleted all my blogs at one point in time, I have no idea, and truthfully, it doesn't matter right now.
For all the years I worked at PJ's, we had to set goals for the new year. We were required to set 10 company goals and 10 personal goals. Goals differ from 'resolutions' in that goals are concrete, measurable, have a definite time limits. I have determined that I will set 5 goals for 2011.
1. Weigh 150 by April 18, 2011. That will be 1 lb per week for 15 weeks beginning 2-3-11.

2. Pay off credit cards in 2011. A plan is already in place to accomplish this. I am uncertain if it can be done in a year, but I will come close.

3. Read at least 1 book per month. For a review of these, and other books I've read, check out my blog, Off The Bookshelf

4. Study through the Bible. This is more intense than just reading through the Bible, which I have done in the past. You can join me in this quest, which may take over a year, at Living on the Mountain. What better way to live on the mountain, no matter the valley you may be going through, than to study God's love-letter to His children.

5. Get hubby retired! Okay, this is more a 'wish' than a goal. But I am working on him to retire in 2011. If I can accomplish #2, then this will easier.

I hope you have good goals for 2011 and that it brings you much joy and happiness, even if it also brings changes and problems. God bless!

fill in the blanks

2010-12-28T23:34:00.000-06:00

2010 has been __________________________________

2011 will be___________________________________

Let me hear from you.

Sunday was not fun

2010-12-19T20:53:00.000-06:00

Saturday evening after supper it hit me, right in the gut! Pain, nausea, general feeling of yuck. I didn't sleep real well, and Sunday morning I started throwing up. I had to stay home from church, cancelled lunch with my sister and caroling. :`( I am feeling a little better. My head has quit pounding and the fever is gone, but stomach is still hurting. Sweet hubby brought me a Frosty from Wendy's. It tasted good, but made my stomach upset again. I hope that I feel like working tomorrow.

WISHING YOU ALL A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS

AND A HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS 2011

The Week In Review

2010-12-17T23:27:00.000-06:00

Sunday: Mother wasn't feeling well, so we opted not to attend church. I left Amarillo about 11:00 and went to Dumas. I took my oldest sis-in-law to lunch and dropped off the Christmas gifts for hubby's family. This is the first time I can remember that we won't spend Christmas Eve with his family. Left Dumas around 1:00 and drove back to Kansas. I got home in time to go to church Sunday evening.

Monday: Nothing spectacular went on Monday. I worked, came home. Went to supper, then facedbooked a bit and went to bed. Just another day!

Tuesday It was plenty cold Tuesday. After work I sent hubby to the store to by fixin's for home-made chili. I must admit that I outdid myself this time, or we were really hungry for chili. Then we watched a bit of television before heading to bed.

Wednesday: Hubby came down with the stomach crud and came home from work about 9:00 am and slept all day. He was running a bit of a temp. when I got home for lunch. I hope it wasn't from eating my cooking! Well, there is a bit of a stomach bug going around town, so I guess he caught that. Went to church, then practiced special for Sunday morning.

Thursday: I weighed this morning. 173.4. I guess my scales aren't stuck on 175.6! Was a VERY busy day at work. Made the day go by pretty fast, though. Hubby was feeling better and went back to work. They were having their Christmas dinner, and he didn't want to miss the Prime Rib! My company's Christmas Dinner was Thurs. evening, so as soon as I got home from work, I started getting ready. I was glad I didn't have to worry about cooking supper, because I was plenty tired. The dunner was held at the Majestic Restaurant. Very posh. Everything was wonderful, the atmosphere was good, the food was awesome and the company was excellent. I won come cash, which made it even nicer. I'm glad hubby was able to come with me.

Friday: Today was a much calmer day at work. Hubby is over his stomach crud. I was surprised with a nice Christmas bonus check. I had another practice for Sunday this evening. I think I am ready. I will be singing a song called "Special Delivery". I've been wanting to sing it for some time, but just now found the music for it. Sunday is going to be a great day. The children will be presenting their Christmas program, which is always a delight.

Saturday: Well, that is tomorrow. My plans are to get my house cleaned and the laundry at least started.

Hope your have had a great week.

just sayin'...

2010-12-09T22:35:00.000-06:00

I don't think I trust my scale today. For the past 2 or 3 days I've weighted 175.8 first thing of a morning wearing just my undies. Today I weighed wearing a pair of jeans, and it was still 175.8. It think that is just a little odd, is all. So, is my scale stuck on 175.8, or what? I guess I could go in there and weigh right now and see if it weighs different, but I can't want to.

I will be going to Amarillo tomorrow to see my Dad for his 84th birthday. I also plan on doing my Christmas shopping while I am there. So far I've taken care of three gifts. 2 were donations in someones name(s). The other one has been ordered.

I have an idea what I want to get for the rest of the gifts, just a matter of finding the perfect thing. We are not spending a lot on gifts this year. I won't be getting the big bonus I had been getting the past several years. That is about the only thing I miss about my old job. The bonuses were sweet.

Hope you are all enjoying this most blessed season.

Remember, without CHRIST there would be not CHRISTMAS!

What's Cooking

2010-12-03T22:45:00.000-06:00

My hubby has a passion for watching t.v. Sometimes I get tickled at the things he watches, like cooking shows.
Yesterday he was watching 30 minute meals with Rachael Ray. She was cooking a stuffed cabbage stoup. It sounded good, so we went to the store and got the fixin's to make it for supper tonight. We were right, it WAS good! It will become a winter favorite for us, I'm sure. The original recipe called for it to be served over rice, but we don't eat rice, so we left that off. I crisped some low carb tortillas to go with it. It was great. Here is the recipe:

Stuffed Cabbage Stoup

Recipe courtesy Rachael Ray

Prep Time:: 12 min
Inactive Prep Time:: --
Cook Time:: 25 min

Level:: Easy

Serves:: 4 servings

Ingredients

4 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil, divided
1 cup raw white rice
1 quart plus 2 cups chicken stock, divided
1 1/2 pounds ground meatloaf mix (a combination of beef, pork and veal)
1/2 teaspoon allspice, eyeball it in your palm
1 1/2 teaspoons coriander, half a palm full
2 teaspoons smoked paprika, eyeball it in your palm
Salt
Pepper
1 bay leaf
1 onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 carrot, thinly sliced with a vegetable peeler into strips then finely chopped
1/2-3/4 head Savoy cabbage, thinly sliced
1 (28-ounce) can diced tomatoes
1 cup tomato sauce
Handful of flat-leaf parsley, chopped
3 tablespoons dill, finely chopped

Directions

Heat a sauce pot over medium-high heat with 2 turns of the pan of extra-virgin olive oil, about 2 tablespoons. Add the rice and toss to coat in oil. Add 2 cups of chicken stock, bring up to a simmer, cover and cook for 16 to 18 minutes or until the rice is tender.

Heat a deep pot over medium high heat. Add the remaining extra-virgin olive oil, once hot add meat and begin to brown, 2 to 3 minutes. Season the meat with allspice, coriander, smoked paprika, salt and pepper. Add bay leaf, onions, garlic and carrots. Cook veggies 2 to 3 minutes to begin to soften them, then add cabbage and wilt it down a bit. Add tomatoes, tomato sauce, and remaining stock and cover the pot. Raise the heat to high and bring the soup to a simmer. Simmer for about 10 minutes. Once the rice is cooked, add to the soup and continue to simmer for 2 to 3 minutes. Stir in parsley and dill, adjust salt and pepper to your taste, and serve.

I did make a few changes, I used 80/20 ground beef, and didn't put in the parsley and dill. (forgot them). But it was wonderful. I am also planning on using sliced Polish Sausage instead of ground meat next time I fix it. I think that would be really good, too. It was very filling, so I didn't over eat, which I am prone to do. It was quite low carb for a soup.

Happy eating!

Just hanging around not posting

2010-12-03T00:24:00.000-06:00

Sorry I haven't posted anything lately. It seems that time just slips away faster and faster any more. I can barely believe that it is already December! We had a GREAT Thanksgiving with the daughter and her bunch. It is always such a joy to get to spend time with them. Our oldest grand daughter turned 16 the day before T-day. WOW! I can't believe that she is 16 already. Seems like only yesterday that we were spending Thanksgiving at the hospital celebrating her birth.
Well, it is late and I need to get to bed. I just wanted to check in and let you know that I haven't completely disappeared.

God bless you all!

A rose by any other name

2010-11-20T16:34:00.000-06:00

still has thorns...Oh, you don't think that is how that saying goes? Your right, but my point is, it's still a rose no matter what you call it. The same with exercise. I just read an article that said the key to exercise is to not call it exercise. Okay, I understand the concept. I have touted not calling a diet a diet, call it a alternate eating regime, or a weight loss plan, or ANYTHING but a 'diet' because the word diet has negative connotations. I know the same can be said for exercise, but working out is working out no matter what you call it, right? So what is a person, like me, who hates the thought of the 'E' word! I recommend that you cut off the thorns, or better yet pick daisies! Be creative. Move it, move it, move it.
Walk the dog, play with the dog, play with the kids, go dancing, challenge your SO to a game of one-on-one. If it makes you move, and you can have FUN doing it, the JUST DO IT! It doesn't have to be organized exercise, or going to the gym. Even cleaning house can be a good workout (so I'm told ;) )

Ahhh, Tuesday

2010-11-16T20:38:00.000-06:00

Tuesday seems to be one of the most overlooked days of the week, don't you think?
Everyone talks about Monday. Even though they don't usually have much nice to say about it. Wednesday, being the week's middle child is celebrated for being 'hump' day. Thursday has Thanksgiving, and although it is only once a year, it is every year. Friday? Well, Friday is the gateway to the weekend, so everyone looks forward to Friday. Saturday is....SATURDAY, the day we get to play, and Sunday is, of course the Lord's day. But poor Tuesday is just another day. So I say that we declare every Tuesday a holiday in it's own right.

Has anything important happened on a Tuesday? You betcha! "Black Tuesday", the day the stock market crashed and the Great Depression began (the one in 1929), WWI began on a Tuesday, Adolf Hitler was born on a Tuesday (so much for Tuesday's child being `fair of face`), 9/11 attack was on a Tuesday, Tuesday is the traditional day for US elections, Tuesdays are considered unlucky in Greece because Constantinople fell on a Tuesday.

The Great Chicago Fire started on a Sunday, the 1906 San Francisco earthquake was on a Wednesday, WWII is said to have started on a Friday, Hurricane Katrina reached hurricane status Wed, Aug 24th, and first made landfall on Sat. August 27th. The 2004 tsunami in India was on a Friday. Dec. 7th 1941; that day that 'lives in infamy' was on a Sunday. The US Civil War started on a Friday. Lincoln gave the Gettysburg Address on a Thursday. Louis and Clark began their expedition on a Monday, or possibly on a Saturday, depending on when you think the expedition actually started.

As you can see from my 'extensive' research more history has been made on a Tuesday, than any other day of the week. So here's to Tuesday, may good things happen on this the least thought of day of the week.

Monday, Monday

2010-11-08T23:26:00.000-06:00

Just another Manic Monday. Nah, it was a good day today. Nothing earth-shattering happened, which is a good thing.

Daughter called and let me know that her custody court date has been postponed, again. I am SO ready for this to be over and settled. Of course, we are praying that daughter gets custody of all the kids. Right now she has the older two and the younger two are with their dad. We know that she won't get the youngest boy, there is no question about that, he was her step-son so she has no 'rights' regarding him. (no matter that she was the only 'Mommy' he knew since he was 5 months old) We are praying that the younger girl will be returned to her.

The cold weather is aggravating my arthritis lately. I was filing today but had to stop for a while because my knees just wouldn't take the up and down I was having to do. I have a dr. appt. on the 17th and will talk to him about it then. Maybe I can get another Sinvisc shot, or a more powerful arthritis pain med. Right now, though, they are hurting. So, I need to go rub some BenGay on them and locate the heating pad.

Something about Sundays

2010-11-07T17:43:00.000-06:00

I just love Sundays. I don't know if it is going to church and studying God's word with like-minded folks, or if it is the relaxed pace of Sunday afternoons, but Sunday is certainly my favorite day of the week. Today has been no exception. All in all it has been a 'busy' weekend for us. Friday night we had a 'make up' bowling game, then yesterday we went to an auction, went to GC to do some shopping, and ate at Golden Corral. Today we went back to GC to WalMart to pick up the one thing we forgot to get yesterday and went to a gun show, something else hubby and I enjoy doing, I am so very blessed that hubby and I love so many of the same things. I usually enjoy anything that means I am spending time with my favorite guy.

Chico and Maxine are chasing each other around the house, Hubby is watching the ballgame with his eyes closed, and all is right with the world.

Friday's ramblings

2010-11-06T00:33:00.000-05:00

My goal was to post every day this month, guess I blew that one in a hurry.

I got a new battery for the scales. I stepped on them this am and was pleased that I am down 4lbs from the last time I weighed and didn't get the bAtt message.

The new job is going well. I am starting to get the hang of things. I kind of like getting paid every Friday. Fills in the gaps between hubby's paycheck very nicely.

We have plans to go to one of the neighboring towns to an auction in the morning. It is our entertainment. We don't go to movies or bars or other things, but we do love auctions. We've gotten some nice things and a LOT of junk over the years.